


Lucky Us

by LostInQueue, MyJediLife



Category: Logan Lucky (2017), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Anxiety, Clyde Logan Needs a Hug, Clyde Logan is a Sweetheart, Clyde's just so darn sweet, Drinks, F/M, Fluff, Light Angst, Rey Needs A Hug, Rey only has one arm, luck, musician - Freeform, singer - Freeform, song writer, swolo fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-03
Updated: 2019-09-19
Packaged: 2020-07-29 21:30:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 24,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20089081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LostInQueue/pseuds/LostInQueue, https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyJediLife/pseuds/MyJediLife
Summary: Luck isn't the same for all people everywhere. <3





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ok! CRAZY BIG THANK YOU to MyJediLife!  
I cannot thank you enough for putting your time and effort into making this read properly. You are beyond talented and I can't wait to work on future chapters with you <3!
> 
> Also, I forgot to add the song Rey sings. It’s Without Me by Halsey. I just wanted to note that so that. It’s beautiful if you haven’t heard it. 
> 
> ...
> 
> Heathyr (MyJediLife) here... super huge thanks to Miss K here (LostInQueue), not only for being an amazing friend, but for coming to me with this awesome idea for a Reylogan fic that she wanted to work on me with. Make sure to check out her other works, especially "Eyes On Me" and "Meet Me At The Renfaire". <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! petitelucy!!!!!!!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! She made the moodboard that's now here for the first chapter and I'm so excited!! ITS SO BEAUTIFUL!!! THANK YOUUUUU!!!<3 <3 <3

[](https://ibb.co/qsKVBFF)

Clyde Logan didn’t consider himself “lucky”.

Luck was something that eluded him and his brother, something of myths and legends, not real life - and certainly not contributing to either of their lives. The very thought of luck could certainly run out the second it could have been offered to the boys.

Their family had a run of bad luck, after all. The Logan Curse had been all too real in Clyde’s mind, and like he had told Jimmy before their heist - you couldn’t give things like that a mouth - because if you did, they quickly created a life and breath of their own, and then a situation happened. Clyde would rather avoid a situation altogether.

Jimmy, well, Jimmy had enough of his own problems - what with his split family situation and all. Clyde was hyper aware of his brother’s frustration with it, and rarely brought it up, which strengthened their bond. Having this connection with Jimmy helped, especially on nights like this, when out-of-towners stumbled around in his bar. They hadn’t a clue what happened here in Boone County - and still they ran their mouths about people that lived here.

During times like these, he did his best not to intervene. Clyde would rather sit back and observe rather than intervene. People like these outsiders tended to dig their own holes for themselves - and if Clyde provided the invisible shovels in the form of alcohol and non-interference, then he would. Getting in a scrap with drunk idiots was more Jimmy’s thing, anyways. Clyde preferred to act much more subtly - like with molotov cocktails and silence.

Most nights these folks fell back into the streets after digging their holes, leaving him alone with his thoughts., Clyde had always been a thinker. Jimmy and Mellie - well, they were the talkers of the Logan siblings. But Clyde had always preferred to use his brain - a brain which often wondered why it was he was still single. Was there a gal out there who would fall for him someday, with only one arm and an awkwardness that normally made people think he was dumb?

None of it was fair - confirming that “luck” just wasn’t there for him. They may have broken the Logan curse - but Clyde had a curse of his own, it seemed.

It felt like he did this daily, conditioning himself to get over an unseen hurtle. It had taken a long time to remember not to lean on his stump while getting up or sitting down - a long enough time to almost drive a man crazy. In the beginning, he still reached for things as he would as if his arm were still there, that was hard enough. A set of glassware had to be replaced for accidents, and then a chair for the sure fact that he lost his temper a time or two, needing to break something in the process. 

While the man had lost something as important as his hand, he still kept his strength. Accuracy came with time, just as practice did. He found himself at home taking care of the bar in no time, which honestly had been a feat considering how often he wanted to throw a glass.

Over the years he found his cool, practicing thinking before doing, which had been a motto one oh his nurses reminded him of daily. They always liked to share how their husbands handled themselves like hens clucking away in a hen house. Clyde did get an education though, that was for sure.

Now, he considered himself a thinker. Oh, Mellie and Jimmy - they were the doers of the family, the ones that did the smooth talking and flirting to get what they wanted. But Clyde? He liked to assess and think before he made a move.

It, however, didn’t help the feelings of anxiety he’d have outside of his comfort zones. If he wasn’t at home or tending the bar, locals might glance at the physical fabrication of his insecurities - but strangers would stare. He would worry about them making a scene about it out there but in his safe spaces they could be more than vile depending on how much they’d been served.

Tonight easily became that night - which bit at his every last nerve, but Clyde knew to stay quiet. Ignoring them was somewhat of a control for the man. If he could control them, he could move past it.

Jimmy, on the other hand, wouldn’t have it. It’s why so many of them haven’t come back within their musical or showmen tours - which he honestly paid no mind to. But the very cut of their words had always been hard to settle if it had something to do with being handicapped.

He hated being called that. He didn’t feel handicapped. 

Tonight had been busy to a degree, there had been a couple of fellas who picked up a game of pool that they claimed would settle a score. They had been slightly more entertaining to watch than talking to Jimmy about his latest plans for this coming weekend. Several others came in for a quick drink, and left far before the sun set. But overall, the bar had stayed relatively quiet aside from the two Yankees that had been pressing him all night about being physically lacking.

That brought him back to the present. Had he been in a fighting mood, he would have tried ripping them apart about their studded jackets and tight clothes. But remembering the work and time he put into relearning how to function at home, he assumed these would be the type to rat him out had a fight broke out.

It had taken Jimmy’s sly mouth to shut them up, which on good behavior, they were allowed to stay. Just as their warning had been given, the door opened alerting the brothers to look up from the troublemakers.

Clyde looked just as shocked as Jimmy when he realized it isn’t Mellie. Women, unless they considered them family, really never came to the bar. Not even travelers. But here’s this woman making her way through the doorway as if she preferred not to be seen. Her shoulders hunched in such a way that made Clyde’s heart constrict, and his lips tighten trying to decide if there’s something he should offer her on the way in. He doesn’t though. That’s Jimmy’s job. He was given the ability to talk to just about anyone, not Clyde. Instead, Clyde found himself staying within the confines of his mind, hoping that he didn’t stick out or call too much attention to himself just by being there.

Clyde knew he was a big fella. Built, some would say, just as tall as his form was full, except for his missing hand. He cursed about the loss of that appendage daily, remembering when it did happen all that time ago. Losing his hand brought him anxiety, the very kind within the same field as PTSD, which delayed him in both speech and response, making him feel like less of the man he was when he started. Not having his hand would give him phantom pains no one could understand.

It felt like he was half of a person, and being half severed his chances with feeling right in the presence of this lady.

His anxiety tumbled on, throwing him harder into that self-shaming he did, making him imagine that whoever is now coming through his door into his life, if even just to use his bathroom, would also have the passing chance to judge him. He can’t live with this, not even if this woman turns out to be the most beautiful person he’s ever met, and he lowered his eyes before he turned to readjust the bottles on the counter just for something to do.

Clyde, however, has this already straightened out - being his go-to for every time he feels the need to tinker, so he moves on to clean the sink, happening to look up to see that she hasn’t really moved. The steps she does take are slow. Careful, like a timid animal. His chest tightened when she goes to scan the room, her left arm adjusting her open sweater nervously, he assumed. He’s missed how she leaned something up against the wall, but watches how she readjusts a backpack of sorts over her left shoulder.

“Would you look at that?” one of the men says with mirth, pointing as he goes. “Something’s got this one’s attention.” He slaps his hand on the bar several times howling with laughter as his friend turns.

“Her?” the other whines through his own entertainment.

“You know. You know, they might actually make a whole—” the first says.

The thought isn’t lost on each other, but neither attempts to spell out their so-called joke for the Logan brothers. Neither brother knew her. Clyde thought idly that he would definitely remember someone like her coming into his bar before. The men shift in their chairs, ready to move when Jimmy asks them where they think their going.

Clyde’s focus is elsewhere. The girl’s young, most likely younger than him, and he slightly nodded at himself, trying to distance his interest. She wouldn’t want him anyway, he thought. Who would want half a man? Clyde didn’t consider himself attractive, by any means, even before losing his arm. He’d always been too lanky, with a pair of ears that were far too large for his head, and a nose far too long for his face. He was all hard angles, where his older brother and younger sister had gotten all the looks blessed to his family. No, Clyde was the odd man out - always had been. Always would be. His lips pouted for a moment, trying to swallow the pain laced in his thoughts, and then she was there, his eyes widening more so now seeing that she’d taken a seat at the bar.

She’s close.

Close to him.

The woman made every effort to keep her eyes down like he had, shielding herself from something—or someone. His mind ran away with him claiming that role yet again. She doesn’t have to look at him, he nods, stepping away for a moment. Then another thought crosses his mind - maybe she just needed time to settle in.

“Women are different,” he remembered Mellie saying. Mellie could say just about anything and it stuck with him, but the line about women being different had served him well in the past —with her at least. Not many men seemed to know, however, the case now being evident as the guys originally giving him trouble all night have moved on to her.

“Hey, honey,” Clyde made out, the man in the red jacket slurring his words.

Well there went his chance, he found himself pouting slightly again. She’s with them. Which meant she’d be leaving soon, forgetting this place, him... although it’s safe to say she didn’t exactly know him.

But it didn’t mean the realization doesn’t sting any less.

He watched as the man went through her things, tossing around her notebook, the contents in it, now spilled all over the floor, swallowing hard as it happened. He knew he should say something, but doesn’t. It’s not that he didn’t want to. It’s more that he needed to slow his breathing so that when he did deliver his comment, he can without his anxiety kicking in.

Jimmy seemed to notice, hearing every small sound she made in resistance to being fawned over by the guys, stopping them in their tracks.

“So, y’all are musicians, right?”

The men turn back to Jimmy, both with unamused scowls on their faces.

“Yeah? What of it?”

“Aren’t ya’ll supposed to have good hearing?” Jimmy presses, folding his arms to make himself look that much bigger.

“I happen to have fantastic hearing. Pro’lly better than yours,” his message is clear. The man wanted Jimmy to back off and let him continue in his way, but Jimmy wasn’t having it.

The two stared each other down while Clyde was still trying to come up with something to say. ‘Take it outside’, didn’t seem to set right with him as Jimmy could honestly take it too far, as he had done on many times before. Then again, so could he. Instead he lets them fester, Jimmy coming up with anything besides the obvious, insulting them as he goes, and the men just seem to feed into it. There would be a fight. He knows he’ll have to clean up someone’s mess tonight, but it certainly wasn’t going to be his brother’s, that’s for sure.

Looking back at the woman, Clyde could see how uncomfortable this was making her, so he did what any bartender would do, he goes to pour her a drink. I wonder what drink she’d like. Somethin’ sweet, I think. Fruity. She looks like a sweet gal and all. Thinking about it gives him a chance to see her - really see her, and boy he can’t look away after that. Willing his eyes downward, or back to his task, became harder with every passing moment he drank her in.

She’s gorgeous, to say it in a word, but a woman like this makes his heart hammer in his chest just a little harder than the rest. Her hair is a little longer than his, he notices when she moves, her body language still tense with the altercation Jimmy is making alongside the bar, dipping her head just so—like he does, as well - so that it sort of acts like a shield. Clyde wonders why someone so beautiful would need such a thing. The next thing he notices is her light smattering of freckles, which turn up the corner of his lips, just slightly, feeling less like an oddball for his own. His gaze remains soft as they wander to her eyes - which are sadly downcast - making him hurt for her, and she hasn’t even said anything yet.

Maybe there’s a reason she came into my bar, of all places. Clyde didn’t believe in silly things like fate or destiny, normally, but he supposed he could be convinced such things existed. Ever since they broke that damned Logan Curse, he supposed anything was possible for them.

He heard the men, then saw her eyes snap up to theirs, whatever did it he couldn’t be sure, but the blush that sets high in her cheeks doesn’t look like it’s there from flattery. This was something different. Hurt, frustration? By these two? Clyde shook his head, ready to intervene when the most beautiful sound he’d ever heard before came from her—the sound of her voice.

“Leave,” she says.

“Not without you, sweetheart—“

“I’m not yours to collect,” she spat.

“Who, exactly, do you think you’re talking to?”

“I think ya heard her,” Jimmy clapped his hand on the guy’s back. “Time to go.”

Clyde swallowed hard, torn between following them out and staying by the woman’s side. It wasn’t like his brother couldn’t handle himself with those meatheads alone. They did all of these sorts of things together - but the thought of leaving her alone made his chest hurt.

Staying meant he could say hello. He could offer her the drink he had planned on giving her if she stayed.

Stay, he repeated in his mind. His good hand shook with the prospect that she may leave, despite the fact that she said she wasn’t with them.

But she stayed, just as he hoped. Don’t get yourself attached, Logan. Pretty gals like this one never stick around - ‘specially not for someone like you.

As Jimmy ushered the two men out, the girl turned back to the bar, startling him when she looked up into his eyes. Hers seem to sparkle regardless of the light, which makes him think it may just be because they’re hers.

“Sorry,” she has the courage to say. “About them. They don’t need to be sloshed to be arses.”

Clyde happened to feel himself move again, this time in the form of a nod, following the gesture with a question he didn’t exactly want to ask first - but she spoke to him and he’d do anything to keep that going.

“Who are them fellas, anyways?”

“Them? They’re nobody, just like me,” she said coolly.

“Darlin’, I don’t think that’s true.”

The woman looked back at him, desperately trying to control the hurt in her eyes. Whoever put that hurt there didn’t deserve their life, Clyde thought. In response, he worked his lower jaw nervously trying to think of something to say.

“I’m Rey,” she offered her left hand to introduce herself, watching how he responded to her--with every fiber of her being, it seemed.

He knew this gesture, this look. He’d done it himself since he’d lost his hand all that time ago. People were rude about it then, which pushed him to get his prosthetic in the first place. At least then the questions had slowed, just as the looks finally did. But why would she feel the need to reach with her opposite hand?

In the grand scheme of things, it didn’t matter, Clyde decided. His right hand extended to her, warm and clammy now that it’s in the cool air instead of balled up and close to his side. It was too late to do anything about it now. He’s trying his best to come up with what he can say to place blame on his skin, but she says nothing to start. Her hand is so small in his, he notices first, forgetting all about his treacherous body.

His heartbeat hadn’t steadied since she came in the door, and here she is, her hand in his, staring at him...waiting.

“What’s your name?” she asked, her voice sounding too angelic to want to speak over.

But then she’s waiting again - and all of a sudden it doesn’t seem fair to make her wait for him or anyone. Clyde looked into her eyes, his left eye twitching as he tried to will himself to speak.

“I’m Clyde,” he said finally, doing his best to swallow his nerve.

“Clyde?” She tried out his name, and Clyde was certain he may explode or better yet, beg her to say it again—all the time. “You’ll have to excuse me, I’ve never met anyone with that name before.”

He did his best not to grimace, color coming to his face.

“I like it,” she said finally. “It’s important to be different,” Rey remarked, her hand still in his when Jimmy came back in, surprising the pair.

His brother’s face took on a different glow seeing the two of them hand in hand, albeit the wrong hand for her, and Jimmy had to move his own hands by his sides to figure that out. But - seeing the way Clyde was looking at the little gal, like she’s holding his heart instead of his hand, he made no sudden movements. Instead, he headed to the window to make sure the men left like they said they would.

“Yep, they’re gone,” he said finally, catching Rey and Clyde reluctantly separating when his focus returned back to them.

She quietly nodded at this news, and then at Clyde before going back to her notes. The way she moved made him feel like there’s something more, --almost like there was a heaviness covering her that she wished someone could take, but she stayed quiet instead, her eyes on the notebook in front of her.

Clyde tried to muster up the courage to ask what she was working on when she pulled out a pencil from her bag. The thought of interrupting her seemed wrong in a way, even though he’d to have those hazel eyes on his again. Instead, he motioned to the bar, his voice soft and slow as he asked, “What’ll ya have, darlin’?”

“Anything’s fine,” she softly replied, her eyes staying on her notebook.

“Well, not exactly, ya see. Some of it’s not quite as easy to take, ‘specially if ya ain’t used to drinkin’ much.” Clyde said, not mentioning that some of it is top-shelf whiskey that costs a lot more. He’d give her whatever she wanted on the house, though, he thought. He might very well give her anything if it meant she stayed in his presence longer.

“I promise, after this week, I’m pretty sure I could take anything.”

Jimmy chose that moment to slide into the barstool next to her, apologizing for her trouble as if it was just those fools that caused it, and calling her attention to him. Clyde watched Rey shift on her stool, thanking his brother with the same hand she touched him with. The act pulled at his heart, making what they shared in their brief touch feel like nothing. If it was nothing, then why did it hurt so much to see her give attention to Jimmy?

Jealousy began to pull at his chest.

Why couldn’t he just have this? His eyes narrowed slightly as he looked at his brother, his left eye twitching once more. Jimmy knows how to talk to gals - he’ll prolly have her eatin’ outta his hand in no time, even though he’s got Sylvie waitin’ for him ta home.

His thoughts were derailed again when she took her hand from Jimmy’s to pull at the sweater across her body. It didn’t really look like it needed to be adjusted. Maybe it was a tic. Clyde had plenty of those, and he’s very aware of them. Maybe Rey did too.

The more she moved, the more Clyde did his best not to stare as the pieces fell into place, like interlocking pieces of building material, building bridges in his mind. Clyde Logan was polite, after all - his Momma had taught all her kids to be polite, and he knew he couldn’t just go asking her about a body part it was obvious - to him, anyways - she couldn’t use. That didn’t mean he wasn’t curious, though.

“So,” his brother startled Clyde out of his thoughts again. “How do ya know those two fellas?”

“Oh, well,” Rey moved back to her seat, close to Clyde, “I’m part of their crew—was... was part of their crew. I developed their brand pretty much on songs I wrote for them.”

Jimmy looked at Clyde, trying to get a hold on what she said.

“I basically write the music and come up with the lyrics they perform,” she clarified.

“So, they’re frauds?” Jimmy suggested. “They looked like frauds—didn’t they, Clyde?”

Clyde just shrugged, trying to figure out what to say. “They sure didn’t seem to be very nice, ‘specially not if ya been helpin’ ‘em get famous… seems to me that they should be grateful, havin’ a pretty gal like ya helpin’ ‘em out.” Clyde flushed at his words, his eyes going to the bar as he grabbed a bar cloth and set to wiping the bar top down again.

Rey gave Clyde a small smile at his words, before saying, “I suppose you could say that, but that’s the industry. There are people who feel comfortable on stage, and people who don’t.” The brothers watched her wave her hand over herself, as if it’s obvious as to why she wouldn’t want to be on stage. “People who don’t, but want to be a part of it, write. And that’s me.” Rey finished softly, her face flushing as well now.

“So, ya write music, or ya write the words?” Jimmy asked, pointing at her notes.

“Well, both, actually. It’s hard for me to hear one or the other,” she said shyly.

Clyde shuffled closer, dying to be part of this conversation, but still happy to be observing her beautiful face as he continued his busy work.

“What d’you play?”

“Anything I can prerecord,” she shrugged. Her body language shifted, between sure of herself and unsure, like it hurts her to have to say it in the first place.

Jimmy glanced at Clyde again, checking to see if his little brother was still as enthralled with Rey as he had been earlier. Jimmy had never heard of anyone only being able to play if they prerecorded, but then again - he didn’t know much beyond football, beer, barbecue and how to fix his truck.. Clyde shrugged at him, and they both looked back at her for clarification.

“I can show you if you like,” Rey got up from the bar, leaving her book open to them and clutching her sweater to her as she moved.

Of course, Clyde’s eyes traveled to the notebook, to try to look at the page she was on. He could see that there’s what looks like notes on how she’d like the music to play, and some of what he can only assume are lyrics - but nothing he - or Jimmy, who was looking at the page as well now - can really make out, and both of them scrambled away from the notebook, their gazes lifted from it when shes started back to the bar with a case about the size of her, sitting it down and asking to use the bar’s space - even though there wasn’t anyone there.

It’s then when Clyde finally saw her - really saw her. His heart constricted yet again in his chest when he saw her sleeve floating through the air as if nothing was in it.

“Yes it—yes...” Clyde did his best not to hyper-focus on what he’s just realized - but it’s hard. He swallowed hard, wanting to correct this for her - as if he could fix his own problem. He could feel himself pour all of his concern into her missing pieces, wanting to know who did it, what happened, and most importantly, if he could comfort her.

Clyde knew Jimmy took notice of this as well while she does her set up. It takes longer than it should, they’re both sure of it, but being that he lives this life, Clyde did his best not to push, eyeing Jimmy to make sure he was doing the same.

Once her keyboard is out of its case, she explained her setup. The first thing she did was set the beat, asking Clyde to move the page, being that he’s right across from her. He would like to think it’s more than that.

“I know it doesn’t sound like much yet, but I have to go through multiple cycles for it to come together properly.” Rey said softly, her eyes meeting Clyde’s, forcing his heart to stutter for a moment.

Clyde nodded, as if to tell her to take her time, while Jimmy settled in a few seats down.

It had taken a while longer for her to get to the point where she could add the final parts of her newest creation. Turning the page for her, Clyde found far more notes - and now the words. Even reading the words upside down, he recognizes the pain runs far deeper than what he can see in her beautiful eyes.

It had certainly been an emotional night since she showed up, but there was something about touching these pages that brought him peace, and something that he thoroughly enjoyed. All the while, stuck in this trance, he’d missed the way she looked at him, hoping he’d just listen to her.

Rey knew this part. It’s a page from her life, one that she’d been struggling to get out of her head for about a week now. It was proving to come far slower than the ones she’d usually write. Creating high energy rock songs for her boyfriend at the time was her thing, and since he’d gotten popular and been big for the last few years, she’d struggled to keep up with him. The pain she had poured into the making of this song, one she hadn’t expected to sing tonight, had been stuttering her forward movement up until now. Her eyes move to Clyde as she starts to touch the keyboard with slender fingertips.

When Clyde does notice she’s started playing, his lips part when she begins to sing. His eyes rove over her, the way she moves, her eyes closing, and he assumes she’s hiding behind them there. He’s hypnotized by her lips moving as she sings, only hearing a few words.

“I said I'd catch you if you fall  
And if they laugh, then fuck 'em all  
And then I got you off your knees  
Put you right back on your feet  
Just so you can take advantage of me...”

Clyde’s fist clenched on the side of her book as he was rendered unable to move by her lyrics. He opened his mouth to say anything, trying to stop her, but she chased the rhythm as his heart clenched in his chest. The more she reveals, the more Clyde knows that he needs to be the person that corrects this.

I swear, I will make this better for her. No one should be treated like that, ‘specially not her.

Her eyes fluttered open when she finished, and she noticed the way he was clutching the page, her eyes moving up to his - eyes which mirror her own feelings.

Jimmy, who had been watching the two with interest, finally decided to bow out, with obvious disgust in his eyes towards the person who pushed her to write such a thing. His eyes met Clyde’s, and his chin inclined a tiny bit to let his little brother know he was doing the right thing in trying to comfort her.

“W-Who used you?” Clyde stuttered, his face coloring once more as his gaze stayed locked with hers.

“No one of importance,” Rey swallowed, making her way over to her case to put away her keyboard.

“No, Rey, please,” Clyde tried to ask again, reaching out and catching her hand with his, covering it with his own. “Someone must have hurt ya bad. Used ya. What ya sang a few minutes ago? It was beautiful, but ya, ya don’t deserve that. Whoever the fella was, he clearly didn’t know what he had.” Clyde looked into her eyes again, hoping she could see how upset he was that someone treated her in such a manner.

“And what did he have?” She asked.

He watched her bottom lip quiver, wanting to reach out with his good hand to touch it..

“What didn’t he have is the right question.” Clyde answered her softly, his slow drawl hanging in the air between them, his eyes still sad as they clung to hers.

It’s the way she moved that made his mouth continue to move despite how nervous he was.

“You, Rey, are the whole package. You’re so smart and beautiful, and I’m bettin’ ya didn’t even know it.”

He watched her shrug her shoulders, showing far more of her than he’s sure she meant to, but as the fabric falls down her shoulder, she doesn’t move away. It’s as if she’s not ashamed of it - like Clyde has been of his. How long has it been this way?

Before he can correct himself, Rey’s eyes followed his to what she’s revealed.

“I don’t, I don’t...” Clyde stammered.

“I know,” she nodded at his own left arm. “Maybe that’s why I’m comfortable here. With you.”

“It’s not my business ta ask what happened to ya,” he dropped his eyes from her in shame, not wanting to further embarrass her.

“There’s not much to tell, Clyde,” she shrugged again. “I was born without it. I don’t know any other way.”

His heart lurched once again, and he looked up, into her eyes, and wondered if it’ll ever stop. Would he ever be able to look at her without losing his breath, or having his heart stop in his chest because she was so beautiful?

“Rey, I,” Clyde began.

“You don’t have to apologize for this,” she took off her sweater so he could see all of her now. “I choose not to wear a prosthetic, because unlike you, I don’t have most of my arm. What they have for people like me is like a dysfunctional stick. It’s just not worth it. People look at me the same whether I have it or not—like I’m diseased.” Her eyes showed just how much she hated that, hated the way people viewed her like she was only half a woman. 

Clyde didn’t believe that, of course, but he knew what that was like. Oh, how he knew. The day he lost his hand changed his life forever. If he came back home quieter, more reserved than he had been? That came from knowing he was forever changed. What those five fingers could do made him feel normal, made him feel strong, and now, being here across the bar from this woman who hadn’t had the luxury her whole life moved him deeply.

“We’re given only what we can handle, or at least that’s what my parents say,” she tried to pull him back from the mental abyss he’d been shoved into. “It’s okay, really. I think the only thing I actually missed out on as a kid was jumping rope and the monkey bars, otherwise I think I turned out just fine. You though, you’re lucky.”

To this he hums, assuring her that he isn’t.

“And why would you say that?” she asked, shifting her hand to hold his properly. “You’re here, aren’t you? With me?”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Baby is trying to grab the phone so I’ll update the notes soon... but Heathyr (MyJediLife) is the Reylogan Queen. 👸 There is no doubt about it! 🤩🤩🤩💖💖💖 Thank you for being your amazing self! 💖💖💖
> 
> Also I don’t know why it didn’t add her as the co-author. I’m hoping this does it right this time.

[](https://imgur.com/gkRJ9C3)

Clyde thought about what she meant about luck. How could he possibly be lucky? A man with luck better than his would be able to hold his girl properly, protect her right, and keep her by his side with either hand. Having only one did things to him. Clyde could only imagine what hugging her would have felt like with his hand still attached, his five fingers supporting her back like lovers would made him strain against the fibers of his stump, trying to feel those nerves again. It hurt him deeply knowing he’d never be able to feel it again, not like it was, but instead of showing it, Clyde forced a small smile onto his face.

She didn’t need to see the pain laced there, or listen to his sad story. Rey had one of her own, even if she shrugged it off, telling him she was born with it and didn’t know anything else, but surely she knew the pain of being different. 

And yet, he wondered if she ever thought about what it could have been like. Did she dream about it, too? Sometimes he still woke in the middle of the night, and he could swear he felt his hand clutching at the sheets.

Rey gently squeezed his hand, bringing him back from his thoughts. Clyde’s smile lingered, but not as a shield to his innermost feelings. Now it remained, tugging just a little harder at the corners of his lips when he noticed the way she’s postured. Rey leaned closer, her elbow on the bar, her hand still holding his. He could feel the spread of a blush rush through his cheeks and burn the tips of his ears. This lady couldn't be for him - but when he lifted his eyes from where they’re connected his eyes locked with hers, and he couldn't see much more than that.

_There has to be a connection here_, he thought. No one had ever given him the time of day since he’d been home, much more than Jimmy and Mellie. Getting attention from Rey made his heart beat faster, and slowed time all at once.

Clyde couldn't help but wonder how long she’d cover his hand with hers, or if she’d remove it from his if he decided to speak, and so he stood across the bar from her, trying to steady his breathing while she remained so close. They stayed in the silence of each other’s company for a while longer, until his nerves took over.  
“H-how long are ya in town?” he asked nervously.

Rey’s eyes drifted from his, her eyelashes shielding them just so, that he’s kicking himself for ever opening his mouth. He could feel the slip of her fingers from the palm of his hand, pulling back from him just enough for his skin to cool. Clyde could barely handle their loss. And yet, she stopped, her hand not completely leaving his as she spoke softly, “in three days. More like two,” she pursed her lips, and explained more, “the bus out will be in the area mid afternoon on the third day.”

Clyde couldn't help but feel burned by it, seeing as he’s sure he has feelings building in his gut for her.

_Don’t let me go_, he prayed silently.

“That’s too bad,” he said, trying his best to stay calm. “There’s a fair in town…”

He could feel his mouth dry up as he spoke, but tried anyway, “I was hopin’ maybe ya’d like to go… I mean, with me. If ya want.”. His facewas even more flushed down, and he could feel his heart beating furiously in his chest as he waited for her answer.

“I ain’t gone in a coon’s age, not since I came back from the Army,” his eyes drifted subconsciously over his arm, snapping back to her as her hand found its way back to his, comforting him through his question. “But I’d like to take ya, if you want…”

“Clyde,” she paused, making him want to run from the bar. She paused in such a way he was absolutely sure she would be rejecting him, even though she had been holding his hand this whole time.

Then, the unthinkable happened. He heard her answer, “that sounds lovely,” and he’s almost positive he’s hearing things but when he looked back down at her, she’s smiling gratefully.

“Ya? Ya would?” he asked again, just as nervously as the first time.

Her smile only widened while she nodded slightly at him.

Clyde smiled and repeated to himself happily, “ya would?”

“Yes, Clyde, I would.”

“Yes. What time would ya like to go?” he asked, swallowing his nerve. She’d already said yes several times, and being that she wais such a nice lady, he’s sure she wasn't going to build him up only to shut him down.

“Seeing as I’m free all day, the time really is up to you, Clyde,” she answered sweetly.

By now he should have been able to recognize the way his blush settled in, being that she sends wave after wave of it at him.

“I understand if you have things you need to do during the day,” she lifted her hand from his to curl her hair behind her ear. The loss of her touch is horrendous, but he did his best not to reach back across the bar to retrieve her hand once more.

“Well, I mean…” he tried to speak, his confidence now gone with the removal of their connection. “How’s the afternoon sound to ya?”

“Lovely,” she assured him. 

Clyde’s heart sang.

Going out hadn’t been something Clyde enjoyed since the loss of his hand, but now? Now he’s sure he’d do anything to get to spend more time with her. Maybe she’d even let him hold her hand again, and just the mere thought of that had his breath speed up at the thought...

——-

All morning Jimmy had been pressing him for information on Rey, wondering what happened with the two of them, and it was making Clyde downright uncomfortable. The moment his brother had an idea, the man ran with it, but Clyde couldn’t help the feeling of betrayal telling Jimmy what they did, even if it had just been holding her hand again. It wasn’t really for him to know, his love life was his own business. Instead, he offered up that he asked her to the fair, which he immediately regretted telling Jimmy. His brother lit up like the sun, ready to tell the world, no doubt. 

“So, Rey’n ya?” Jimmy asked. 

“Yes,” Clyde answered, not wanting to repeat himself.  
He knew it was coming. He’d say what Clyde was thinking even if he didn’t want to hear it. “Just, don't go and get yourself attached. How long she in town? She tell ya?”

Clyde could feel himself nod, even though he’d rather not. Maybe if he kept it to himself instead of giving it a mouth, then she’d stay forever.

“Not long at all, eh?” Jimmy asked, even though he didn’t need the answer.

Clyde, though, he was holding onto that magical number. He had three days with her. Three. And he’d be damned if any of that time was wasted on account of anything Jimmy had to say. He wasn’t there when she held his hand late last night. He wasn’t there while she helped him close up, and he certainly didn’t see the way she looked at him when he offered her a ride back to her motel.

Jimmy was used to getting all the attention from the ladies, and he always gave Clyde a hard time when someone turned their eyes on him instead of the older Logan brother - not that that had happened a lot.

Now, Clyde, being the gentleman he was, had stood beside her door, helping her in before saying goodnight. He could still hear her voice when she told him she was looking forward to seeing him tomorrow, and how sweet it sounded. Then and there he felt hope bloom in his heart, whispering how she could stay if she wanted. That quiet voice had to stay quiet, though. If he let it grow too loud, he knew he’d be nursing a broken heart as soon as she left on that bus. Besides, no passerby ever stayed in Boone County. Not that he had ever been quite as struck with another lady such as her, but he could feel himself slipping. He didn’t need any more heartache - he’d had his fill of that already, what with their family curse and all. Sure, they had pulled off their heist, and Clyde had thought maybe that curse had been broken, and their luck had finally turned - but he was the only Logan still without someone special in his life. Logan lucky he was not. No, Jimmy and Mellie had gotten all the luck from their heist, leaving Clyde with his bar to run to fight off the loneliness.

The rest of his brother’s yapping went unheard. Jimmy didn’t know Rey like Clyde did. She was different - or at least that’s what he told himself.

The afternoon couldn’t come quick enough, but he was nervous enough to see her that he found himself changing his clothes twice. Next, he couldn’t decide if he should wear his prosthetic or not, tightening the band and loosening it multiple times, until he imagined her telling him about hers. How it did nothing for her, making him wonder how much it did for him. The thing really was more of a stick than anything else. It gave no value other than making him look more like a mannequin than a functioning man, which pushed off the unease of going out without it.

Clyde then spent time coming up with why he opted not to bring it along if she asked. He told himself she wouldn’t, that she would take one look and just know, if she even looked at all. He couldn’t imagine her really staring at it, being the fact that she spent more time looking up at him than his misfortune.

Before he knew it, he was at her door, wondering how he even made it there, he had been so deep in thought and all he couldn’t even remember driving over. Feeling the wood of her door under his knuckles brought him back from his thoughts. This was really happening. He was really at her room, picking her up - his next thought made him - gulp - on a _date._ His nervousness reverberated in his ears, drumming just as loudly when she held his hand the first time as he realized the heaviness of that word: date. But then the door swung open, and there she was, standing before him, her face beaming in such a way he’s sure she’s lit the far reaches of his heart and has made him feel truly awake.

All the while, she stood before him, her eyes glued to his as he stood in the doorway.

Clyde could barely think, let alone speak, and he dared his mouth to move, if even for a little bit, trying out the word, “Hi” as if it’s his first time speaking.

_She was truly wonderful_, he thought, seeing how she doesn’t laugh or make fun of him. Instead, she repeats him in a manner that makes him wonder if she’s just as struck as he is. The thought of it being even remotely true made him smile. _Could she like me too?_ He wondered silently. 

“Ready?” he mumbled.

“Yes,” he heard how quiet she’d mirrored her sound with his, and he wondered if he shouldn’t have come. “I haven’t been to a fair in years,” she added, her tone becoming brighter, but sort of rushed. “What, um, what are they like here?” Rey asked, looking back up at him.

They’ve somehow managed to make it from her door to the passenger side of his car, his hand over the door handle to open it for her when she asked. Clyde can feel his brow furrowing, and before he can stop his admission, its out. “I, um. I ain’t sure,” he said almost shyly, his face coloring once more with the admission.  
Rey’s head tilted, and he was sure she was going to say something, but didn’t. Instead, she waited curiously for his explanation.

“I ain’t been since I was a boy,” he finally shared, unsure of whether or not he should open the door. What if she changed her mind? He would be standing there with a door open to his imagination. She would leave now hearing that.

“And you asked me?” she whispered.

“Sure did,” Clyde could feel the lump of regret in telling her, but he was a good man; he’d never dream of lying to her. And so, he waited for what came next, not expecting her to return a smile.

“You haven’t been since you were a boy, and you asked me to go with you?” she repeated.

His ears are red, he knew it. He knew how it sounded, how stupid all of this could really be. But then…

“That’s really sweet,” Rey complimented him.

Suddenly, the lump in his throat subsided, and pride puffed through him in record pace. She called him sweet!

That was all it took for him to open her door, building him up with every earned thank you, every sweet smile, every glance, and he couldn’t seem to make sense of how he was feeling. It all came at him in such a rush, he couldn’t possibly know what to do with that sort of information. Truly, it would take some time for him to mull things over in his brain.

They parked in a grassy side lot, where many cars seemed to pile in. The crowd seemed to grow around the car and panic set in. They hadn’t left to explore the festivities yet, and still, without the prosthetic he felt very exposed.

Rey’s eyes felt like they were searching his, digging deep beneath the surface of his hypothetical walls. He bent himself forward just enough to shield his eyes with his hair too, when she stopped him.

“Clyde? What’s wrong?” Rey’s fingers slid over his arm just so, leaving goosebumps in their wake.

When he didn’t answer, he knew she was looking him over. He can just sense the way people do it, too… but she didn’t linger on what pained him the most. Instead, she stayed eye level with him, calling his name, and it sounded so pretty on her lips. She sounded like a prayer, like she just knew - and she did. He knew this. But he was stuck here. Stuck in this wound that will never truly heal - with a woman who knew this truth.  
“We don’t have to go,” she whispered to him. “We can find a quieter place if that makes you more comfortable.”

A quieter place would make this better. One away from crowds, their prying eyes…but he asked her out to this in particular, so he shook his head in response, his hair tickling the bridge of his nose while doing so.

Her hand left his, and fear rose like bile in his stomach.  


_No. Stay. Please stay._

The lightest touch, her short fingernails against his skin, softly brushed his hair from his face, tucking it behind his ear as she spoke again.

“Just say the word and I’ll go with you,” she reassured him.

It shouldn’t be like this. He should be able to control his fears, and yet she was looking at him like she was, full of worry for him. She didn’t even know him. Not like that anyway. And yet he can’t help but mumble out his discomfort. 

“Crowds used to do that to me, too,” she nodded.  


“How did you get past it?” He asked, his voice barely audible. 

“The truth is, I haven’t really. Some places are still learning how to accept it, and that it doesn’t affect their lives in the least. While others see me for who I am, rather than what they see,” she said, pausing just slightly. “You and I, we have each other. Whether it’s here or out in the woods somewhere, we can conquer this together.”

She wanted to be there for him, that was what registered at least in his head, and Clyde swallowed his nerve and agreed with her. Rey’s fingers were still playing with the ends of his hair, while he focused on her. 

His thoughts race while the silence rests between them. She hasn’t moved away. Instead, she stayed deep within him, trying to heal the pain that’s so obviously there. Rey didn’t look away, didn’t make a sound, wasn’t worried about how long they’d been parked, instead she was establishing the fact that she was there, _really_ there... for him and only him. 

How could Jimmy say she wouldn’t stay? Maybe she would. Maybe she felt it too. 

Clyde nodded a final time before making his way to open his door, asking her to wait when she reached for her door. His heart sang when she stopped, placing her hand back in her lap. It was then, when he was rounding the front of the car, when he remembered to look at her. It didn’t even occur to him to look at more than her face. From the outside looking in, all he could see was her smile, shy and sweet, following him to her door. The simple gesture of opening it for her, and the way she was looking at him, made him feel worthy.  


He could do this, he promised himself. He could do it for her. 

Rey placed her hand on the center console to press herself up enough to move out of the passenger’s seat, making him swallow hard. Maybe it would have been easier if he let her drive, but it was certainly not what he wanted. Clyde felt the need to take care of her like a man should, and driving her places made him feel that way. Watching her struggle hurt him, though. He took a step around the door, offering her his hand, but realizing that wasn’t enough.

“I don’t usually sit here,” she apologized. 

Clyde felt himself bending slightly to help her, but it doesn’t register, not until he felt her hand on his shoulder, his own rounding her back as if they were dancing. His body hummed with unchecked fear when he felt his other arm come up to steady her. There they stood, her finally on her feet, not pulling away from the other in the slightest. 

“D’ya usually drive?” Clyde asked, trying to even his breathing.

“No, I,” she paused, “I don’t have my license.” Rey shook her head slightly. 

“Me neither,” he chuckled softly before asking, “How do ya get around, then?” 

“The bus, mostly,” Rey answered, her eyes closing when she did, and the sight pulled at his heartstrings. 

“I could teach ya, if ya wanted, that is,” he added. “It ain’t hard, and I bet ya’d pick it up pretty fast.”

Rey’s face lit up, then faded all at once. 

“It’s sweet of you. It is. But I won’t be able to reach the shifter in my condition, and I can’t imagine it being safe for anyone else if I’d be allowed to drive.”

He didn’t want to laugh, but slipped, and she smiled.  


“All ya gotta do is find the right kinda car. Wouldn’t be hard, I’m thinkin’,” he muttered.

“Maybe,” she offered in return just as quietly. 

Clyde could barely see anyone around them. He’d forgotten his fears, only seeing her, and managing a compliment. He may have told her she was beautiful more than once, and only snapped back from his trance as a car honked at them to shut their door. 

As they walked towards the fair, Rey began to tell him she ventured out that morning, since he’d mentioned how pretty she looked. Clyde, though, only heard her voice, not her words, nodding every time she’d look up at him. His mind was wandering to wanting to feel her close to him again - had it not been for that van honking at them - maybe he might still be.

“So, where to first?” Rey nudge him just hard enough to recollect him from his thoughts.

“Hmm, not sure just yet. Figured we could just see how it goes,” he shrugged.

That’s how the afternoon went. The two of them walked the grounds, passing rides filled with people. Lines began to build as the crowd thickened. They tried a few games, losing all but one, and tried samples from stands. They both agreed, after looking at a few rides, that they could handle the Ferris wheel. 

“I’m deathly afraid of heights, just so you know,” she rambled as it became their turn to take a seat. 

He watched as Rey shook just slightly, clearly scared of this. Was she doing it on purpose? Clyde followed her just as nervously. He had always liked to keep his feet on the ground - even in the Army he had hated being up high, but his training had taught him how to shove away his fears - and so, that’s what he did. Piling in after her made his heart stop - and not in a good way. His hand gripped the seat, struggling to put their seatbelts on, her words on his tongue reminding him that they can do this. She’d be there - but if that’s so, then why was this so difficult?

The clang of the door closing, and the screech of the latch coming down startled him from his thoughts. Remembering Rey beside him, he looked at her, finding her wide eyed and terrified. Despite not being comfortable himself, he remembered his old training, pushing his own fears deep down and finding it within himself to comfort her. 

“You’re alright, I got ya.” Clyde covered her hand with his. 

It was her turn now to force a smile, despite the rocking bench of the Ferris Wheel as it began its ascent, “Please don’t let go.”

Clyde smiled, squeezing her hand a little tighter, and silently promising that he’d always be there. When the chair lifted all the way to the top, revealing the setting sun, he could still see how afraid she was. It called to him in some primal, protective way - should he put his arm around her? Would that be too much? Would she be okay with it?

Her short nails pressed crescents into his skin in a panic, as her eyes fought to stay open despite her wanting to shut them.

“I’m sorry,” she whined, pressing her head against his shoulder, trying to hide from what she saw. It was just too high. Just too much movement, just too many reasons to be afraid. 

Before he could stop himself, Clyde let go.

“No, please,” she panicked, looking up at him in shock, but calming again when his warmth returned, covering her other shoulder. 

It was a bold move, even for Clyde. He touched her there, where she should have more. She didn’t flinch or move away, but it undeniably happened. Blush burned hot in his cheeks, looking just about anywhere else to calm his nerves. 

“S-sorry,” his apology caught in his throat. 

The last turn around had them sitting high above the land again for what seemed to be far longer than the first time. She stayed as still as a statue, while he fought the urge to call over the side to be released from this ride. Instead, he asked if there was a reason why she didn’t like it. 

“I mean I don’t like it much, either. Never been a big fan of heights, myself,” he started.

“I don’t know. I never have. Nothing dramatic happened... just, I feel better when my feet are on the ground.”

Just as soon as they were back on the ground and released from the basket, he watched her kiss her hand and touch the ground. Her pretty sundress fanned out as she turned back to him with a brilliant smile on her face. 

“Better?” he asked.

“Well...” she eyed her wrist, where a black hair tie rested. 

“Well what?” he swallowed.

“I was hoping maybe you could help me,” she smiled.

Clyde’s eyes dropped to her lips before snapping back up to her eyes, not daring to think it could be that. 

“I haven’t worn one of these since I was little, you see. My parents, my mother really, would put it in my hair to keep it off my neck when I played. I was hoping, maybe you could help me put it up,” she said brightly. 

Hung lights began burning softly overhead. Each step he took closer to her felt harder than the last. They’ve been close on and off all day, and now she wanted something from him. A skill he had never learned. He did his best with Sadie when she needed her hair brushed and put into a ponytail - but it hadn’t been often he’d had to help her. It made him on edge, for sure, but still he would try - for Rey.

“Here,” she said, scooping up hair from the nape of her neck, directing him to take the hair band with his fingers to help her pull it around her hair. On his turn, he had figured out how to twist it just so, returning the remainder of the band in another pass. The task wasn’t easy, nor did it look beautiful - but she still smiled cheerily, thanking him constantly.

Toward the end of their time together, the two sat, watching other couples dancing. The thought of not truly being a couple struck him hard in the chest. She was only here for a couple more days, his memory supplied. Then there had been Jimmy, telling him not to get attached, and finally, every moment that led up to sitting here with her tonight. Clyde felt the passing breeze skirt over his arm, remembering how the crowd seemed to disappear when she convinced him he wouldn’t need it. 

“Rey?” Clyde did his best to stay calm as he watched her turn back to him. “D’ya wanna dance with me, maybe?”

He watched her eyes widen before she nodded, rising from her side of the bench only when he did. Her hair tie fell from her hair, making him uncomfortable once again. 

“We’ll work on that,” she promised as if they had more time. 

Rey’s hand found his, but he didn’t lead her out to the floor. Instead, they stayed close to where they had sat, under the cluster of lights just over them. He liked the way her eyes lit up under them, and so he kept them there. Clyde nervously lifted her hand to his, but she shifted to place her hand on his shoulder instead. He didn’t understand why until both his hand and forearm rested comfortably at her waist.

Clyde couldn’t believe this was happening. It was so far out of his grasp, that he was sure they were still sitting, enjoying the sights and sounds around them. He knew he’d stepped on her feet multiple times, and she hadn’t complained out of the goodness of her heart.

“Slow down,” she said, calming his nerves again. “I don’t want to dance like them... I’m with you. Take your time,” she said, resting her head on his chest. “I’d like to take this at your speed.”

Clyde gulped, pulling her a little closer to sway just so, internally begging her to stay. 

_Please stay so I aint gotta nurse a broken heart._


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EEEEEEEE!!! Heathyr is my hero! She made our moodboard for this chapter and it truly captures everything perfectly! I am so glad to have you working on this story with me! Thank you for all you do my lovely friend <3 <3 <3!!
> 
> Also, there is a song that Heathyr had pointed out to me tonight that really and truly reminds me of these two that can be found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WMnLqb_EPv0 <3 <3

[ ](https://ibb.co/HzPpj54)

The warmth from the day cooled with every passing moment, but hers never faded. It’s steady and true while she snuggled against his chest. His sway has slowed enough to wonder if what they were doing was even considered dancing anymore, but Rey paid no mind, she’d simply pressed her cheek dutifully back against him, reclaiming her spot each time she’d slide from her spot there.

People wrapped up their dances, last calls for food and rides stir up the folks that are still present, and all the while Clyde battled with the thought of asking her what she’d like to do next. Just the thought of asking stung. It bothered him to stop her from swaying with him, when her closeness was all he wanted.He could picture them together, dancing like this underneath the stars with fireflies dotting the warm summer air.

But when she didn’t bother moving away from him as the lights around them shut off, it was time. Clyde slowly lowered his head carefully next to hers, so his cheek barely brushed against hers. He blushed harder when she nuzzled into him again. Would he ever be able to live again without that?

Despite needing this - and her - in his life, he had to speak, “Rey? They’re... it looks like they’re fixin’ to close down now. And I was wonderin’ - what would you like to do now?”

A soft sound came from her, followed by a tug at her lips as she tried to force a smile.

“Sorry, I promise I wasn’t sleeping,” she hummed. “Your heart just has a soothing rhythm.”

At first it sounded odd to hear, and so Clyde didn’t respond to her in words. Instead, he nodded his head, wondering what it was that was so calming. He thought his heart was beating so fast it could have shot right out of his chest due to nerves alone. Here she was with him, pressed up against him in this sea of people, and all he could think about was what could possibly go wrong.

She stayed close to him, making no urgent motion to stop either.

“What would you like to do?” He asked again, his voice sounding a little deeper to him than it had been before. Clyde had never been so bold as to think a girl would decide to be with him even after a date or two, so he had no reason to think Rey would be any different. She had been so much more to him since last night, and it just seemed right to let her lead. It seemed natural.

Somehow it was far less scary to let her, but then again, she never felt scary. Sure, his nerves would get the better of him every time she smiled at him, or held him the way she was now, but she wasn’t exactly a firecracker. He could sense there being a foundation in her life that made her the caring woman she was and, boy, did he want to hold on to find out more.

It isn’t until she shivered that he became a little more pressing, asking if she’d like to start off to the car.

“I suppose we should,” she sighed, finally moving away from him.

The action had been simple. Her cheek resting on his chest moved away slowly, as if it pained her to leave him. But, just as one feeling had ended, another began. Rey had slid her arm that held his back while they swayed, down the back of his arm, chilling him more than the dropping evening temperatures.

Clyde side eyed the way her arm looped in his, her slender fingers now sliding between his made him hold down the urge to gasp. If he had, would she have taken them away? Clyde didn’t know - or want to know - for that matter. Instead, he focused on the way she held onto him. It’s as if she was afraid to let go - just as he was the thought of it made him stifle the need to cry. His cheeks heated rapidly while the thought of being seen being emotional threatened to take over.

He thought about what his Daddy would have said to him: Men don’t do that. Though Clyde had been through hell, struggling with emotional releases that came about from time to time from being in the army. Crying would come on rarely, but the thought of the release hung above his head some days more than others. Still, a release like this wouldn’t be something most women would tolerate, and so he battled with the sight of seeing her comfortably clinging to him instead. Maybe it meant something to her. Maybe he meant more. Would she walk away if he let the tears fall? Would she leave him if he fell to his knees, sobbing because he didn’t want her to leave him, didn’t want to lose her like he had lost so many friends in Iraq?

_ Please let it last, _ Clyde mumbled to himself, sure that the gravel underfoot masked his whispered pleas.

Once they’d made it back to the grassy field that was once filled with cars, they found it nearly empty, only a few still sprinkled around the makeshift lot. The very fact of the matter didn’t seem to affect her the way it did him. Instead, she looked up into the night sky, enjoying the stars overhead while they stood before the passenger’s seat of Clyde’s car.

“This was nice,” she said with a sad sort of smile. Clyde watched as she reluctantly pulled her hand from his. “I had a good time. Thank you for this,” Rey nodded, promising she’d always remember their time together.

His skin prickled at the loss of her contact, hoping she’d hold him again, lean on him, anything after they settled back into the car. He remembered his manners, helping her into her seat before surely making a fool out of himself, before rounding the back of the car with long strides. He hadn’t wanted to make her wait, but at the same time Clyde had clipped the side of his bumper trying to get back to her - and that would certainly leave a mark, but not the kind he wanted.

Rey had already marked his heart and soul, and he’d give anything for her to deepen it, settle herself inside and never leave... but there they sat, neither one really ready to move, staring out the windshield. It hurt to see her look so far away, but there she was, next to him, in their space, but so deep in thought he was sure he’d never connect with her again.

It stung real bad, making the drive back to her motel that much harder.

“Clyde?” Rey sniffled.

If he thought her deep in her own mind was maddening, the sound of her sadness was far worse. Clyde leaned forward from his seat, studying her while she struggled to speak.

“I don’t want to go, be alone, that is. Not after...” she said, her lips pressing together firmly, trying to suppress the start of a sob, or at least he thought that’s what she was doing.

_ Don’t cry _... he urged her with a look.

“Come on, darlin’, ya can stay with Jimmy ‘n me for the night if you’d like,” he said, scooping her hand from her lap as if it were a delicate flower.

The way she looked up at him, her eyes wet with worry, could have damn near killed him.

_ You’re too pretty to be upset like this over time with me _... he thought privately.

“Y-you want me to s-stay with you?” Rey whispered in response, her watery eyes capturing the glow of the street lamp outside.

They were mesmerizing - just as they were throughout the day while she looked up at him for answers. She seemed to really enjoy looking him in the eye, which was new, being that most avoided eye contact with him instead. He wasn’t sure if it was that they were doing it just to him, or if it was a widespread thing he should be aware of. But when Rey did it, he felt special. Like nothing in the world could ever matter besides the way she made him feel like he mattered. Like he was a whole man, instead of a man with only one hand, Seeing her now, like this, was... well, it was heartbreaking.

Clyde swallowed his tongue at the sight, struggling to say a word. All he wanted was to confirm this, and yet the three letter word choked him. Instead he nodded, sharp bobs that were enough to get his point across. His eyes were just as wide as hers while he waited for her response.

Did he just ask her to spend the night? That was forward, wasn’t it? He hoped she didn’t think he’d take advantage of her, like she was nothing.

“I just thought a lady like yourself shouldn’t be alone,” he gulped. “‘Specially not while your sad.”

Rey wiped the corner of her eye, agreeing to stay.

“Ya would?” Clyde felt the air rush out of his lungs.

“If you’re sure I’m not imposing...” Rey whispered. “I just, I don’t exactly want to go yet,” she admitted.

Clyde’s heart sang when heard her say she didn’t want to go. Maybe she wouldn’t. Maybe she’d decide to stay with him, make a life in Boone County for herself.

“Of course not. I don’t want ya to go either,” he said, his cheeks burning when he slips. “I-I like ya. I like spending time with ya, that is, and if it makes ya feel better, I’d like ya to stay with me fer as long as ya like.”

Her smile is all he needed. It’s all he’ll ever need, he already knew. They’ve only gone in to retrieve her bag, which to his surprise is only a backpack and her keyboard.

“Ya...ya don’t have anything else, d’ya?” Clyde searched the room.

She answered with a simple shake of her head, promising that she traveled lightly. It shouldn' have surprised him, honestly. Multiple single handed trips to retrieve items, even at the bar, had been frustrating when he returned home. How could traveling be any different?

A lump in his throat returned the moment they made it back to his car.

“Rey, I just want ya ta know I don’t do this,” he nodded at the door, “with just anyone. I don’t want ya to feel like...”

“I don’t. I don’t think you’re like that at all. You’d have shown it, Clyde. I wouldn’t either, so long as we’re clearing the air with each other,” Rey said, her tight smile warming his heart.

“Okay,” he nodded in return, pulling at the handle to help her in.

The drive home is in a comforting silence. He’d paid attention to the road while she leaned forward, looking for the moon.

Nearing home had him on edge, though. What if she didn’t like it? What if she thought less of him for being here, instead of one of the nicer ones a few towns over? She hadn’t been like that with him though. Maybe it won’t matter the way he thinks it could. He struggled with these thoughts and more, wondering just how much he could sense was true with this girl. Would Jimmy ultimately be right? Would she still want to leave? Would she take one look at where he lived and demand he take her back to the motel? Sure, they could’ve bought a nicer place by now with all the money they were sitting on from the heist - but Jimmy insisted they needed to lay low with the spending for a few years - to make sure no one was gonna come looking into it again.

There’s still not much more talking besides his admission that they had arrived, and further more his introduction to his home. Clyde watched her nervously as she put her bag down next to where he deposited her keyboard against the wall in their living room.

“I’m sure it’s not as nice as the places you’ve been but...” he stopped speaking when her eyes locked with his.

“Clyde,” she said, shaking her head. “You shouldn’t be ashamed of the things you have. They’re just things.” He watched as she curled her hair around her ear before she spoke again. “Were you worried about what you had before—before you met me?”

She looked like she was trying to figure him out. And what if she did? Would she turn him away? His eyes darted around and then to her, nervously taking the time to process her question.

“No,” Clyde said, shaking his head finally.

“Right,” she paused, sitting on his couch. “What matters is who you are, and who you’re with.”

Clyde’s heavy foot falls are all that register after that. Was she saying she’d like to stay? That she chose to be with him? He knows his heart would hold on for her, just to know indefinitely... but constantly asking himself how much more of this he could take.

Before he knew it, Clyde found himself beside Rey on the couch, his amputation and her defect side by side, just barely close enough to touch. How he’d die inside trying to find the courage to snuggle up next to her... he’d never been as smooth as his brother, and wished he could curb his nervousness just to reach across them to hold her hand. Instead, he waited... hoping she’ll come back to him.

“Thank you, Rey.” Clyde managed to say. “For this. I mean, I really like spendin’ time with ya. It really means a lot to me that ya came out with me tonight.”

Rey hummed her appreciation right back to him, “It’s been delightful, Clyde.” She made her move finally, resting her head on his shoulder and bringing up small things about how he should be thankful for what he has. That the city really isn’t a place for kids to grow up, but that’s life - and her parents honestly did the best they could for her, which was saying a lot.

“As frightened as I was in that seat today...”

“On the Ferris wheel?”

Clyde felt the way she nodded while she rested on his chest now. The move had been natural, at least he thought so, despite his nerves. She’d moved right back into position as if they were dancing again. His mind drifted back and forth between the two sensations, how different, and yet how alive he felt because of it. Whether she knew it or not, Rey was starting something inside of him. A fire, of sorts. One he knew he could never put out. He would burn for her, always… he knew it. But, instead of telling her everything he was feeling, he let her talk about her family, her friends back home, what they were up to now that they were all grown up, and how she got into traveling with, well, with her ex’s entourage.

She shifted uncomfortably when that particular subject came up, and so he let it go for the time being.

“Well, if ya like the wilderness, ya sure came to the right place. Lots of woods ‘round here. I could take ya for a walk in the mornin’ if ya like,” he offered with a lopsided smile.

Her hand braced itself on his chest beside her face, taking him by surprise when she lifted off of him, “You’d take me for a walk?”

Clyde couldn’t have felt more embarrassed. He’d asked her to the fair and then home, and now this. What kind of significance would it be for her to see the woods?

“I’d love to go for a walk with you… there aren’t really a lot of forests in the city, you know. The one they have is about as large as a city block, and when you look through the trees you can see traffic on the other side in any direction.”

He was sure that couldn’t be true. There were no roads running through the section of woods near them. In fact, most of them avoid cutting through altogether. It was something about preserving the natural habitats of the creatures around them – some movement he wasn’t home for, that’s for sure. Clyde drank in her smiles and every dimple that layered in her face when she smiled at him, committing them to memory.

He’d felt so good about the way she responded to his simple offerings that the next question had been about whether or not she’d been to a lake.

“Not since I was little. But even then I can only remember splashing around by the shore line with a water wing and sandals.”

At his bewildered face, Rey confirmed she had swimming attire on and kept her shoes on so she couldn’t feel the pebbles under her feet.

“What’s a water wing?” he asked.

“Oh, it’s a little inflatable tube you put on your arm to keep you up in the water if you can’t stand. I never learned how to swim, so I always had one on even if I was on the beach.”

Clyde chuckled at that, knowing how to and all, but decided to keep that to himself. Instead he offered the fact that he’d never let anything bad happen to her, holding her gaze with his own, to which she smiled, adding words he never thought he’d ever need to hear right back to him, “and neither will I.”

The two of them had shifted from Rey’s leaning on him to laying out in the open, her tucked in comfortably between him and the back of the couch, right there in the middle of the living room. Jimmy would find them easily in the morning, but Clyde paid no mind to the thought of it. He loved the comfort he found here. Rey nestled up as she had been, his amputated arm resting comfortably at the small of her back… had it been anyone else - it would have never been anyone else. Everyone he ever knew shied away from his handless arm, but not Rey. She welcomed the feel of him, not needing to say anything about it verbally. Instead, he took her cues from the way she’d press herself closer still.

If only he had the strength to ask her to stay in his life forever…

___

  


The next morning was just as awkward as he thought it would be. Jimmy loomed over the two of them, hemming and hawing over nothing at all. He knew his brother wanted his attention the moment the air shifted in the house. But now with the addition of Rey, the girl he’d been dying to hold onto since the other night, things had become weird between them. Clyde snuggled closer, his grip tighter against her still thankfully dressed body. Next time he had the capability to spend the night with her, he vowed to take her in to his room - even if they were taking things slow. She’s a lady after all, and deserved to be treated like one.

Rey, however, hummed awake, slapping her lips together sleepily. Her hand clenched and opened again, releasing Clyde’s shirt, and she frowned a bit while she moved. Rey’s eyes finally opened, spying the two of them looking at her in bewilderment.

“What?” she asked, wiping the crust from the corners of her eyes.

Clyde did his best to keep his smirk from widening, taking in his lady friend’s position. She looked like she was sitting over him, claiming her territory, ready to challenge anyone that got in her way in her sleepy state. Idly, Clyde wondered what she would do if he ever was in such a situation. Not that he’d ever be, he thought. He’d always managed to take care of himself so far.

It’s not long before she really woke up, taking another look at the situation unfolding around them before she pats Clyde’s chest, asking where the bathroom was.

That’s when he knew that Jimmy won this one.

“What did I say, Clyde!” Jimmy pressed his brother.

“She ain’t like that,” he said, standing up for his girl against Jimmy.

His girl.

How he wished that was true.

...That she was his.

“Like what?”

“Fast. She ain’t no fast girl. We just talked last night. No funny business, or nothin’.

“And yet,” Jimmy’s voice did that telltale thing, where it raised before delivering another blow. “She was wrapped around ya like her life depended on it. It’s not my place to know what happened. but you’re my brother, and I’m trying to keep ya from gettin’ hurt.”

Now Clyde had just about enough of Jimmy, and pressing him on what Rey’s motives were. It wasn’t his business what happened between them. He couldn’t remember a time he asked him about his love life, or gave him advice on the regular or at all. It was Jimmy’s business and Jimmy’s alone.

“Ya ever think you’re the one doin’ the hurtin’? All this about her not stayin’, don’t ya know I don’t need no remindin’? I know,” Clyde stopped as the bathroom door opened.

Rey had gotten changed from the dress she was in last night into jean shorts, flats, and what he could only describe as a knotted top layered over a white tank top. It had a special name, he knew it, but it didn’t matter. Especially not because of the way she’d looked at him.

Her hair swayed off her shoulder while she ran her fingers through it, reminding him of the hair tie. He sat up suddenly, asking if she still had the rubber band.

“Yes... thank you,” Rey blushed the moment he stood up. “Maybe just one more this time?” she asked.

Clyde lined himself up behind her, like he did at the fair, loving the way it felt to be helpful to her. The stretch of the rubber band, and touching her hand again made him feel like more of a man than he had been when he returned. Maybe he didn’t need his hand as he once thought. Maybe the right girl, his girl was all he needed. Maybe she was his other half, although he’d never much thought about that kinda nonsense.

Jimmy wiped his hand over his mouth. Whatever was starting was taking hold, and his brother would pay the price soon enough. She’d go, she had to. He’d seen enough of their kind at the bar time and again. These people were chasing a dream that they seldom would reach, and even then, were they even happy? Clyde didn’t deserve that. He deserved a lady who was going to stay and bring him the comfort he’d seen Rey bring him her first night. Ift she would go too... he just had this feeling...

“Alright,” Jimmy said loudly, interrupting their moment. “What do y’all want for breakfast?”

He suspected he’d have to cook for one more now...and yet Rey smiled, promising she was fine. It had been a strange conversation, her turning down food - being the way she enjoyed the fair food with Clyde.

“We never really had a lot growing up, so I just got used to eating later,” she said.

“I can’t interest ya in toast, er, nothin’?” Clyde asked.

“I’m okay, really,” Rey nodded. “You should, because you need it. Besides, you’re my guide today, right?” she added cheerfully. “Should have your energy...”

Clyde’s smile grew at the sound of her referring to him as hers. What would it take to get her to say those sweet words all the time? It seemed like the only question he asked himself anymore.

“Ya know what... I’m gonna pass, too. Thanks Jimmy, but me ‘n my girl are gonna go for a walk. I’ll be back this evenin’ to tend,” he gave his brother a slight nod before reaching back for Rey’s hand. “Ready?”

———

Walking with Rey had been just bliss. She found every reason to be happy, pulling him around to show him what she’d seen along the way. Anything from dew glistening on spiderwebs, to bird’s nests, to being entirely too entertained with the squirrels running around the ground and scurrying up trees. It had been the most fun he’d had outdoors in a long time.

His head whipped around to face hers as they came up to a clearing when he heard her gasp. Clyde searched the profile of her face, trying to get an idea of what happened, and there she is, filling in the blanks for him with a few words.

“I never knew this much green existed in the whole world,” Rey whispered while she took in the view.

The lake opened up a new horizon filled with color. Calming clear blue skies blanketed itself over rolling green trees, both rich in deep shadows and brightly colored leaves, moving only slightly as a breeze most clearly passed on the other side. It’s lovely sight mirrored itself in the lake beneath it, giving way to the large flat boulders that were surely baking in the sun, near the water’s edge.

Rey squealed with delight, searching the ground for something. Clyde watched her kick around leaves until she found a long enough stick, picking it up like she’d just found gold.

“Clyde!” she excitedly jumped up and down, “Have you, have you ever been fishing?”

Of course he’d been fishing, he thought. Not recently, but he’d been. A handful of times crossed his mind, including that one time him and Jimmy tried spear fishing after they lost their poles down stream that one time... but that was when they were kids. Now? Well, now it’s different, and he eyed his missing arm sadly. Clyde couldn’t help but wonder how she’s going to manage fishing, with her predicament and all. It’s not like he could help much, but given her excitement, he couldn’t help but want to follow.

“Yeah,” he added nervously, “when I was a boy... that is.”

Rey didn’t take a second more, signalling him over to join her. She rushed out of her shoes, sticking the stick in her mouth as if it were the stem of a rose as she climbed up onto the flat, wide, surface of the rock. Clyde admired how she moved over the smaller stones, eventually getting up onto the biggest one of the cluster, which was big enough for several people to sit on, and he finally found the nerve to follow her.

His heart beat faster still when she turned to help him up to her, wondering why Jimmy couldn’t see it. This woman was an angel, and everything he could possibly want despite her handicap. Come to think of it, his brow furrowed in thought, Rey never really focused on it. She’d do what she wanted to... which was what he admired most about her.

The roughness of the stone beneath his feet called him back from his thoughts enough to see - really see - Rey. She seemed to glow before him, the sun kissed her - as it did the water - in such a way it made her look as if she did truly fall from the heavens. How could he be so lucky? He gasped for air the moment the word took over his thoughts. He’d been so lucky to meet her, to be in her presence…

Rey smiled at him, then pulled the hem of her shirt up, exposing a little of her stomach, the light catching on the flowing tank top below it, making him choke a little. What was she doing? He felt a little like panicking, then shielding her from anyone that may pass by this morning. They weren’t in the safety of his home—she shouldn’t be—

She surprised him yet again, dropping the stick to the ground beside her, then biting at the threads of her shirt. She released some of it to her cause; loop after loop slipped from the tug of her hand, forming a loose ball she obviously planned to work with before cutting it off and allowing the loosened material to hang from its severed place.

“I saw something like this in a children’s book once,” she mused, falling to her knees to secure the fine yarn to the stick she retrieved.

Remembering himself, Clyde squatted down beside her to help hold what would be the pole in his hand, while he used his arm to hold down the yarn against the top of the stick. His gesture waisn’t missed. Rey’s continued smiling while she did her best to tie on the yarn, holding the cut edge between her teeth to secure it with the making of another knot.

"_We can conquer this together _,” he remembered Rey saying just before the fair. She was right.

They could do this together.

Suddenly the urge to tell her was there. Right on his lips, begging to be free of his aching heart. She needed to know. He needed to tell her…

He’s not sure if it ever made it out to her in the inches that separated them. The air seemed so thick, and yet so delicate he hadn’t dared move after, afraid that this world had been all a dream. The idea that it could come crashing down around him is certainly not a world he can see ever wanting to live in again. And so, he makes no move to say it again. Whatever promise he’d given, he’s sure it was somewhere in the wind by now.

Instead, he waited for her response - but there isn’t one. The world around them stays perfectly still, calm, warm… like her…which is inviting.

Rey lifted only slightly, to sit with her legs dangling over the boulder’s shallow edge. Her toes were in the water as she sat, now holding the stick between her knees and patting the surface of the stone to call Clyde to her again.

“Sit with me, please Clyde? I need your help,” she smiled at him over her shoulder.

Feeling slightly deflated at his attempt to tell her, it was all he could do to follow now. Maybe he could tell her again. Maybe it would come out clearer next time… he tried to think positively on this.

He found himself scooting like a child to sit beside her, his knee brushing hers as what he does makes her laugh a little. What was so funny about that?

“Well,” Rey said, then got up and Clyde panicked a little, “almost.” She’d given him the stick to hold, bending in front of him at her waist to paw open his legs before giving him an appreciative nod. “That’s better.”

With his legs out to both sides, Rey turned again, sitting between them. Clyde’s eyes had gone wide at first, but when she scooted back, pressing her back to his front, he was sure his heart stopped beating altogether.

Suddenly it’s just as hard to function as it is to breathe.

She’s in his space.

Rey smiles shyly over her shoulder, asking if it was okay. 

All he can do is nod. He can feel his lips part, and his chest heave as if he’d run a race.

_ Rey. Rey. Rey… _ Her name rings in his ears.

Rey shifts a little more, holding the pole with her knees so she can reach behind her for his arm, connecting with the flesh of his amputation. She’s gentle as she’d always been, promising she’d always want his help in the way she rested her fingers over his forearm.

“Can you hold me?” she whispered to him, guiding him to encircle her around her waist.

Rey touching his arm had been the single most exciting thing Clyde had ever experienced, so much so that he nearly swore in her presence. She, though, is a lady, and should be shown respect, he told himself. Instead he swore at the feel of the electricity between them in his head, letting it course through his body and thrum its power through his soul. Rey was just different… and he knew - just like in the bar - that he’d do anything to keep her in his life.

His other arm came around, wanting to secure her to him, but instead reaching to grasp the fishing pole they’d worked on together. He leaned his head over her shoulder, promising her that he’d sit and wait as long as they needed until they got a bite. 

“I bet we could do anything together,” Rey whispered dreamily.

Clyde tried to hide the way he sounded when he inhaled near her ear. Her cheek - that once settled against his - turned to him. She moved so slowly, he’d done all he could to hope he’d not crossed a line. They’d been cuddled up together last night, and again today, not even hours after, this time fighting the urge to lay claim to her. He’d already called her his girl this morning, and as much as he wanted to believe it was true, he knew deep down it may not be. Still, the way it came out ignited something inside of him, something he couldn’t calm with a promise that he’d get through this.

And yet she still turned enough in his lap to face him, her eyelashes sweeping upward as if they were opening in slow motion. Clyde watched her as her eyes lifted from his lips to his eyes and then back down.

Every cell in his body burned hotly, dying for that connection.

A slight breeze caught his attention just enough to miss the way she shifted again to face him wholly. Her hand dropped the stick beside them to wipe it against the hip of her shorts. Rey’s dainty hand cupped his cheek, making his eyes close briefly. The feel of her is more than enough to last a lifetime, and yet, the moment she pressed her lips to his, he’s sure he’s found the true meaning of euphoria. Her lips are soft and moist, the perfect blend of sweetness from brushing this morning still faintly on her breath, along with her own lovely flavor, pressing against his own and making him mewl. The slight sound caused her to release him from her embrace, her eyes wide looking, just as surprised as he was. 

“Clyde, I’m—“

He could only shake his head and swallow hard. She couldn’t possibly say she was sorry for that. They hadn’t even explored each other as he craved to... she couldn’t be sorry for this. His large hand cupped her face, his thumb brushing over her soft lips. 

“Did you mean it? What you said?” she asked, her question had been just above a whisper. 

Clyde searched his thoughts, his brow furrowing in the process, only coming to realize he’d confessed his love for her out loud. 

“Oh, darlin’ you’re that and more to me.,”

“Am I really that to you?” Rey repeated, as if she couldn’t believe what he’d just admitted.

“Yes,” he repeated breathlessly. “I’d do anythin’ to keep ya in this life with me, here, or anywhere. I want to learn ya until there’s nothin’ left to know. You’ve awakened somethin’ inside of me. I never thought I could be worthy enough to have an angel like you. Not in this life. Heck, I still dunno why ya even give me this time.”

Tears formed at the corners of her eyes while she lets it settle inside her. She nodded quietly, pulling him in for a hug, her knees grinding onto the ridges of the rock below them. 

“There’s something here... a feeling, a truth I’ve never known, Clyde. When you hold me, I feel safe...” she whispered against his ear, clutching her arm around his shoulders.

He couldn’t hear anymore. The ringing in his ears took over, just as his own impulses did. Clyde pushed her from her perch to look into her beautiful eyes, emboldened by being told such a thing by his girl. His lips parted, just so ready to say anything, but losing the capability to speak. Instead, he lunged forward to capture her lips in a searing kiss. 

His hand which was cupping her cheek, dropped to palm her back to press her closer to him. Being with Rey was something extraordinary, but kissing her, being her man... it had surely awoken him. All of his hopes and dreams exploded in the forefront of his mind, promising him it would be alright.

The love of his life was really his.

She said she felt safe...

It was one of the most beautiful things she could ever tell him... besides the day she’ll tell him she loves him, that is.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You're my hero Heathyr! I don't think you get to hear it enough so I'm putting it here. 
> 
> She made our moodboard and it is fantastic! And has another wonderful recommendation for music for this chapter that can be found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BGK3oY-a-IY <3
> 
> The song that Rey sings is Rihanna's Towards the Sun (2015) which was featured in the movie Home. By using the lyrics, I am not claiming to own them. But they are wonderful and if you have time to listen to it it's here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MPQdQd7vY1g
> 
> We truly hope you enjoy this chapter and thanks to Heathyr's brilliant mind, will be returning with a sequel some time soon <3

[ ](https://imgbb.com/)

“You’re the,” Clyde moaned against Rey’s sweet lips, “most beautiful... woman I’ve ever...known.” His speech was broken by her relentless waves of kisses crashing down on him. Excitement coursed through his body, as if he’d been struck by lightning at every place she’d touched him.   


How’d they even get here, he wondered. How long had she wanted this?   


Rey’s tongue stroked his as if she’d been mapping it. Her moans felt like pleas - calling out her needs all at once, a call Clyde knew he’d die to answer for the rest of his life. The flick of his tongue, mirroring the dance of her own, had become a silent promise to her, one of love and endless desire, sending an  unmistakable  chill over his shoulders and down his spine. He’d been dying to tell her how much he loved her since she’d showed him compassion in the car—but now it’s all he could do to meet her excitement with his own.   


Clyde promised to tell her when the time was right, but for now... now he could only keep pace with Rey’s fervor.

There are no words. Nothing but gasps, hums and the soft sounds of their combined pleasure over the ambient sounds of lapping water against the shore. A grunt slipped from Clyde’s lips when he settled back on his elbows to give his girl a chance to rest her grip on his shoulder.

Her lips fell from his when he dropped just that much more, making Rey a little uneasy.   


“I-I wasn’t too forward, was I?” She caught her lip between her teeth, worrying it a little.   


Clyde couldn’t believe her change, how nervous she’d become after that show of affection.

“No, no, darlin’,” Clyde whispered, promising she could never do any wrong, “I loved it, every second. I just was worried for your comfort is all. The rock can’t feel great under your knees, and I,” he paused the second she smiled. Clyde noticed the way blush held in her cheeks when she felt important to him.   


He’d seen it before. A lot, actually. These last couple of days had been glorious - studying his girl, who was now undeniably his. The thought of it made his heart beat faster. He was in love and very possibly going to explode at the thought of it. Telling her needed to happen nearly right away. Hadn’t it though? Didn’t he slip? Didn’t he tell her how important she was to him? Wasn’t that why they were sharing this blissful moment? He’d tell her every moment of every day, if that’s what it took. He wanted his girl happy.

“I didn’t want ya gettin’ hurt is all,” Clyde managed to tell her. Emboldened by her returning smile, he reached to smooth his hand around her waist, unsure of his bravery for such a move, but was rewarded yet again by one of her more soothing sounds.

Her contented hum spoke to him in a way he’s sure the two of them were made for each other. Lowering her to the ground was a whole different task, and it had been ungracefully done - but it didn’t matter. Clyde knew he’d survive her weight dropping languidly against his body, but was certain he might die from the way she began to press kisses into his neck, just below his jaw.

“Darlin’,” he groaned, grateful for the canopy of the forest beginning to cast shadows upon them in their clearing. The fall of her soft kisses down the column of his neck urged him to speak while drowning in his purest desires. His girl, his... she wanted him, and while he felt the urge to let her take him on that rock, he knew boating enthusiasts would be making their rounds soon.   


“Sweetheart,” he choked on the sentiment the second it fell from his lips, she’d moved to drape one of her legs between his, her thigh wonderfully close to his growing length. Clyde knew he had to slow her down. The last thing they needed was to be arrested for indecent exposure or caught by a few kids in a boat.   


“Sweetheart, please...” he rasped. “I ain’t goin’ nowhere,” Clyde motioned to sit up, wincing at the way his pants strained around him now. “I’m so glad you’re mine,” he said, returning kiss after kiss, leading her back to a sitting position against his chest. “But, we’re out in the open and all, and I don’t wanna share ya with anyone. You’re just too important to me to do that to ya.”

He watched Rey blush again, and she nodded and dropped her head to kiss his cheek before sitting completely upright. Clyde let out a small sigh at the loss of her warmth against his chest.

“What, um,” she paused for a second to clear her throat when she spotted the first of a few kayaks heading their way. “What do you think about lunch?”

Clyde smirked, promising her she’d always be enough for him, but his stomach said otherwise. Rey’s too...which was evident from the sounds coming from it.

“Well, seein’ as we didn’t catch nothin’,” Clyde started to joke with her.

“I’m pretty certain we caught each other,” she smiled, her eyes sparkling with an unspoken promise that Clyde hummed to, pulling her closer to him. “What’d’ya say we pick something up from the store...”

  
  


———

  
  


The Grocery Castle, while small as far as supermarkets went, had  its own fresh fish station. Clyde kept his hand on her while she spoke to the men behind the counter to find out where they got their fish from. Once they confirmed that local fishermen come in daily to sell their catches of the day, Rey decided on a salmon, asking them to kindly butterfly it, and remove the skin for her, which an older gentleman did for her without a second glance.   


“Thank you,” she smiled sweetly, collecting her now paper wrapped, prepared entree which she placed carefully in their basket, before moving on to retrieve the rest of the items she had memorized. “My mother and I used to make this together. Well, they really had no choice. It was either anything I could cut with a fork, or something they needed to help with,” Rey shrugged, bagging a cauliflower, carrots, and broccoli, too.

Clyde simply stared at the offending vegetable, reminding himself that Rey didn’t know what the plant implied about him, so he did his best to ignore the item.   


“Oh! I didn’t see them...” Rey said, picking up a zucchini and a yellow squash and returning the white plant that would have surely put him through hell with Jimmy’s stories. What was it with Jimmy anyway? Why did he start calling his crazy schemes cauliflower? Seemed like an odd thing to call something, didn’t it?

Whatever the reason, Clyde was happy to see it go.   


By the time checkout came, Rey had sent him through to the other side of the register so he couldn’t be tempted to pay.   


“This is my idea - so it’s my treat,” Rey lifted her eyebrows, nodding to her man.   


It was odd. It was simply and clearly not right to allow her to do this. It went against every fiber in his being to allow it - and yet he stayed where she said and didn’t take this from her. Sometimes it was best to stand back and let your gal take the lead in things. Least, that’s the way his parents had worked things when they’d been alive.

By the time they got back to Clyde’s, Rey was task oriented, asking Clyde to help find some things for her. First it’s a cutting board for the vegetables, which he located in a lower cabinet. Her proximity already made him feel alive, especially after their walk this morning. He rose from retrieving their wooden cutting board, then settled it on the counter with a louder than usual clunk.   


The sound itself made him grimace, then blush, and suddenly feel shy again.   


“Sorry,” he offered with a tight smile.

“It’s okay to slow down... I just thought maybe you’d like to eat before we go,” she replied.

“Go?” Clyde asked, taking a step in her direction. “Please don’t go...” he said, feeling more like he was begging her. Every instinct cried out to get down on his knees in front of her, to beg her not to leave him.

Clyde’s reasons came desperately. It would be their third day together. Tomorrow, he’d have to say goodbye. Clyde started to panic at the mere thought of saying goodbye to her.

_ Never leave, please.. _

“To work, sweetheart,” she whispered when he crossed her space, “to work,” she repeated, and Clyde couldn’t reckon just why he’d gotten himself all worked up once he heard her sweet voice saying those words.   


He watched her tongue dart out to wet her lips, and nothing else registered after that. His imagination went wild, willing him to pick up where they left off. When his hand found the denim that hung from her hip, it was as if it was the first time he’d felt such a material. Each ridge and dip in the stitching felt different against the palm of his skin, it felt as new as the flare of excitement building in his chest. As new as their connection...

Just this morning he tasted those lips, and yet it had  all been so debilitating. Clyde‘s breath hitched, feeling the way the delicate touch coursed through him.   


Clyde groaned, internally promising he could learn to live this way, feel alive and free with her always...   


“Clyde,” he heard his name escape her. It sounded heavenly, pressing his need to keep her. “Please, kiss me,” she urged him.   


He felt weightless. Her need called to him ever so sweetly, willing his lips to hers. He felt the way she ran her fingers through his hair, attempting to hold him in place, he thought, first matching his gentleness, then deepening it, opening him up to his own meaningful moans. When was the last time anyone accessed this place in his heart? The very fact that she could spoke volumes to him.   


Suddenly his deepest desires surfaced along with them. He’d backed his girl up two steps, reaching the counter behind them, surprising them both. He was sure they were a little further out then that, but had been thrilled at the thought of pinning her against the wood. Rey seemed to be just as spurred on by it, pressing her weight onto his shoulder and lifting her thigh high against his waist.   


Clyde groaned, giving into temptation. He could do this. He could lift her. She called him strong... he could be strong now... for her...

Despite lacking a hand, Clyde palmed her backside and hoisted her up, guiding her leg around him with his forearm. The soft underside of her thigh against it made his jaw go slack, his hot breath huffed against her mouth, moving only when she muttered a curse.   


“Yes,” she hissed, pulling him hard against her body. “I need—“

“What’s all this?” Jimmy asked, catching the two of them. His eyebrows raised, waiting for a response, pinning the two of them in place.   


Clyde could feel his fluid motion halt all at once, and Rey’s fingers slipped from his hair. She’d honored his wishes on the rock, and now here, without a word. His lips rested still on hers in a silent apology he wished he didn’t have to offer.   


He’d never been like this with Jimmy. Clyde never bothered with him in any way when Jimmy had enjoyed his girls, so why did he have to torment him? Clyde had never really wanted to sock his brother one before, but he could feel the muscles twitching in his arm, and it took everything in him to keep his hand where it was.

Rey’s hand found his shoulder, her eyes fluttering open, looking to soothe him. She wanted him to know it was fine, he could feel it.   


“Lunch,” she simply replied, tearing her gaze from Clyde’s to look at Jimmy.

Jimmy sized up what she’d gotten, assuming they need help - but she stopped the man in his tracks.

“We picked up enough to share, but this isn’t for you to do. If you’d like, you can take a seat, or we can call you when it’s done.” Both men looked at her in surprise.   


Clyde, for one, wanted to know what she thought they’d be able to do, and Jimmy chewed the inside of his cheek trying to keep hold of his  skepticism . The man always cooked for Clyde, even before he went into the army. With genuine interest, Jimmy took a seat at the table, giving them room to fix the food.

“Sweetheart, how we gonna do this?” Clyde whispered.

“Don’t worry, we can, Clyde. Trust me, just like we did at the fair...”   


Clyde gave extra care thinking about what he could have missed if he didn’t. She stood with him, strong and true in the kitchen, waiting for his decision. When he could finally see her again, he nodded slightly, leaning ever so slightly to kiss her again. It had been a soft peck - but assuring —all he needed to steady himself and follow her lead.   


Rey quietly rattled off the things they’d need to prepare the stove top for use.   


“The salmon would have been the hardest for us to do. It’s why I asked for them to do it there. Maybe when we’re a little more in control, we can try it, but for now we’ll practice on the vegetables,” Rey said.

Clyde gulped the second she offered him a knife. This could end so badly, he thought. His breath shook on his exhale.   


“You don’t—you don’t see it, do you?” Rey asked him quietly.   


“See what?” Clyde swallowed the rest of his question when she moveds to stand in front of him, posed with her back to his front.

“You and I may feel broken, sweetheart,” she said, stilling him from moving away from the counter.   


He felt himself crowding her, uncertain of where this was going. The thought of his brother in the same room made the weight of their movements feel so much heavier.   


“But we can be so much more together,” she said, coaching him to steady her hand on the first of the vegetables with his forearm.   


His hesitation seemed to call to her, eliciting one of the most beautiful things he could have ever heard her say, “I promise I won’t let you get hurt, I’ve got you.”

Clyde let his forearm rest on top of her hand, steadying the broccoli - first to chop it from the stem. With a steadying look from his girl, Clyde inhaled sharply as if it pained him when he lifted it from the block. It took all of his concentration to line the blade up against the smaller stalks to chop the little bunches off, but  the pressure he felt squeeze on his self conscious had been steadily pressed to the board in one surprisingly easy chop.   


One chop and then the next had moved him deeply, she promised him in so many ways that she’d be there for him. Maybe it meant that she’d stay.   


_ She’s going to stay _ , Clyde repeated to himself, grinning from the depths of his soul.  _ She’s going to stay _ ...

Once each had been chopped, she smiled brightly back up at him, making his heart sing. Clyde began feeling in control of himself again, his girl coaching him through it one step at a time made him feel normal... the rush of it had been overwhelming. He needed to do something with this break through. Clyde sat down the knife and grabbed her- thanking her for this. It had all been so emotional, but not once did she push him away.   


Jimmy cleared his throat, tearing the two from their jubilation.   


“We’ll have our time,” Rey promised him. “There’s enough to start over in case we burn it,” she giggled, “but we should probably try not to, considering you’ll be late if we do. I’d like you to enjoy it, instead of scarfing it down.”

It’s amazing what they’ve accomplished so far, but pan frying the filets and finishing the meal despite their issues had been overwhelming for him. Moving to the table to enjoy what they made had been surreal, clouding his senses just enough to feel only a few things at a time. First it was the plate’s weight in his hands, the warmth in the center there called his attention to Rey, who moved around him to set Jimmy’s plate down, then disappear again from view.   


She’d moved to get glasses, being coached by Jimmy since Clyde’s apparent state had been too much for him.

Finally, sitting after such a task to enjoy the meal they created had been overwhelming too, which had Clyde weathering his lip until Rey came back to the table to sit down.   


“Now, because it’s hard to pull all the bones out, please make sure you look for them. The filet is going to fall apart when you eat it, so you should be able to find them  beforehand if there are any,” she added in a rush.   


“How do you know how to do this, bein’ a city girl and all?” Jimmy asked.

Re smiled, bringing up the memory of her mother.   


“My mom was the strongest woman I’d ever known, she could do anything. Dad said when I came, people started treating her differently—like I plagued them. But mom never let me believe it. She made sure I knew I could get what I needed... what I wanted despite being what people called ‘half a person’. Being this way offers a quality of life that most don’t know how to tap into... and so mom did everything she could to make sure I knew it.”

“Huh,” Jimmy grunted, guarding his plate with his arm as if it would lose it. He shoveled his food steadily into his mouth, searching around her to make sure there was, in fact, more. “Well, this is great,” he  complimented them with a mouthful.

A moment or two passed before Jimmy started again, “So, what’s your  plan for tomorrow ?”

“Well, I have a meeting a couple counties over, to sit in on a recording, and possibly sign with a newer group. I don’t know what it means beyond that - but I have my own expectations going into it this time. Last time, I guess you could say I was blinded —not everyone is as they seem,” she scoffed putting down her fork. “I figure I can take the bus...”

Rey’s explanation of how she saw the day unfolding silenced him as if he’d been under fire again. The third day was upon them, and she’d said she’d take the bus. It would take her somewhere he didn’t hear, somewhere he wouldn’t be. Clyde could feel the anxiety building, could feel his heart starting to crack, and a piercing white noise took over while she continued to talk to his brother. She... she couldn’t mean that... she said she’d stay...   


Isn’t that what he heard all those times? Weren’t they little promises of hope?   


Clyde bit back the need to intervene, all she had to do was tell him. Tell him anything. The truth... why she’d kissed him... why it felt so real... like love. He knew how he felt - but how did Rey feel? Had this all been some kind of dream he was about to wake up from - utterly alone and heartbroken?

“These things can go either way, I’m just trying to sell the rights and stay, to be honest,” Rey told Jimmy and looked back up at Clyde.   


His eyes were fixed to a spot on the table though, still unable to hear much of their conversation at all.

“D’ya want a ride?” Jimmy asked, somehow patching Clyde back together enough for him to hear the offer.   


_ No... no... _ he thought. She’s mine and won’t be carted around by Jimmy or some bus driver, not without him, at least.   


“Nah, I’ll take ya’,” Clyde offered. “Don’t want my girl goin’ to some new place alone.”   


Rey only smiled, just as brightly as she had been this whole time, making him wonder if this was the plan all this time.   


How could he be so blind?

Clyde felt like the rug was being pulled out from under him. Why couldn’t she see how cherished she was to him? Was it really that hard?

Going to work had been bittersweet. The night she sang to him still coated his memories. He could still hear the various melodies across the bar, even though she hadn’t brought her keyboard with her this time. Instead, she’d given him her full attention, trying to talk to him all night long.

Yet, Clyde didn’t feel much like talking. The idea that she’d leave like she said she had to was enough to send him into a downward spiral. At least their time together hadn’t been long, he tried to tell himself, but it didn’t work. He felt her in so many aspects of his life now, Clyde wouldn’t be able to move forward without the memory of his... girl…Was she ever really his girl, though? Wouldn’t his girl stay with him?

Work had been hard to deal with. The hours were slow. The moments Rey spent with him there felt fragile, and no matter how he tried to hold onto her - she’d be gone tomorrow.   


“Clyde?” Rey asked, rounding the bar for the last time that evening. “You’ve been so quiet tonight...what’s the matter?”   


Clyde continued to stay silent, wiping the bar as he went. It was hard to look her in the eye and tell her not to go, so he decided against it, trying to ignore the questions she’d asked, but they fell  like rain . Each gripped his heart more than the next until she managed to slip between him and the bar.

“Please,” she breathed, cupping his cheek. “Please tell me why you’re being so cold. Clyde, please, tell me where my man has gone.”

His lip quivered hearing what she’d called him. Clyde’s lips parted further, his lungs heaved as if he had just run a marathon.   


“What?” he managed to ask.

“You’re, you’re keeping me out, and I don’t know why...”

“No, no,” he gasped. Clyde shook his head, tossing his hair from side to side as he went. “Before that. What did you call me?”

“Sweetheart?” Rey quirked her eyebrow at him.   


“No, you...” he chased the title she’d given him. “You called me your...”

“Man...” she said, confirming this. “Is, is this not? I-I th-“

Clyde’s grip on his bar towel intensified. She called him hers. Her man. And, before that she told him he made her feel safe.   


“Am-am I to you? Yours?” he asked.   


Rey nodded, her eyes are just as wide as his.

“I though—I hoped... you-you called me yours, Clyde...” she whispered. “You..”   


“Please, Rey, say it again... tell me what I am to ya...”

“You’re mine,” she said.   


“Your what?” Clyde asked. His eyes widened tremendously waiting for her response.

“My... my man,” Rey cried. Her lips trembled, trying to hold back her own emotion.   


Tears began to build at the corners of her eyes. Her emotion evident, his title had been important to her, he thought. Clyde dipped his head forward, capturing each drop with a press of his lips before they trailed down her cheeks. Each kiss felt different than the last. The feel of her fingers combing through his hair made him shiver.   


“Please don’t go, Rey,” he croaked.   


“Don’t— what?” Rey asked.

“Ya don’t have to go, ya can stay. Ya can stay with me, ‘n we can, we can...” Clyde tried to speak, but found it terribly difficult. All of his worries rushed to the surface, his questions dying on his lips. “Rey, just stay, please.”   


“I...” Clyde hushed, capturing Rey’s lips in a bruising kiss. He wanted his answer, he wanted her to tell him she’d stay, but he was lost to the moment.   


The both of them had been wound up since the morning. First the couch, then the rock at the lake, his eyes rolled in his head at the feel of her pressed up against his body. It had been so good, the weight of her there, and he desperately needed more. It took every fiber of his being to remember to drop the dirty towel before circling her his arms around her. His girl,  _ his _ .   


Rey would know what she meant to him.   


If she knew, she’d stay.   


The bar had since closed, lest the need to turn off the lights and lock the door. He’d yearned for her all day, since the very start of it... since the night before, and the one before that... he stuttered out a breath against her lips. He’d held on to her just as he’d learned to, tightly. Clyde had dropped his brow to the nape of her neck, softly repeating his pleas.   


He wished for more time.   


So much more time.   


If it hadn’t been too forward, he’d have asked for their lifetimes together—even more for the way she built him back up. He could feel this change building inside of him... this beautiful... wonderful... warm place inside his soul that she had filled.   


She needed to stay...

“Take me home...” she whispered against his cheek. “Please...”

Clyde couldn’t help the excitement that coursed through his body. She thought  he was strong ... she wanted him... she wanted...  _ to go home with him _ .

He smiled brightly at her, holding on to all she’s said to him so far, scooping her up over his shoulder. Her squeal is about the most fantastic thing he’d ever heard, that is... until they get outside. Clyde has somehow forgotten in the rush of the moment, even with the clapping thunder and the roaring downpours, that it had been pouring.   


Rey’s laughter had been a whisper, though it had been obvious she was truly letting it out. What a thrill life could be with the right person, he thought, piling her into the car.   


Their drive home had been a test, that’s for sure. Every stop sign and traffic light distracted them from the road long enough to be honked at on a usually quiet ride home, especially at two in the morning. Clyde hardly minded signaling them and often for people to pass in the event that he’d been chasing a feeling deep within the longing songs of his girl’s heart. He wanted to hear them all and never dared to hush her. If she wanted to pull off to the side, he would in a  heartbeat .   


Living in the moment with Rey meant their ride home had become longer by at least a half hour. She seemed just as driven as he was to chase his need, which Clyde welcomed.   


The rain had let up marginally, making hauling his girl over his shoulder his go to move. He loved feeling strong for her... she brought it out in him, and Clyde, well, he would do anything to make her feel just as special as she made him feel.   


Clyde didn’t bother setting her down when they got inside, either. She was far too wet and could fall, he told himself. Rey needed him. She needed to be suspended, but he hadn’t expected her laughter to fizzle out.   


Rey hummed in his ear, and just the sound of her there had been beautiful. Clyde nearly tripped over his own two feet when she pressed her soft lips at his neck, just under his ear. He was certain she noticed and did it again, softer this time. Clyde blinked hard, trying to focus on the last remaining steps it would take him to get back to his room and possibly set her down, but then she sucked at the pulse point found there.   


Clyde’s vision filled with stars, begging whatever entity he needed to give him the strength he needs to get to his bed to lay them down. There she could turn him into the putty she had begun changing him into without a worry.   


And, boy, did the man worry.   


He’d been worried this whole time. But now? Now he wouldn’t let anyone, not even Jimmy, change the outcome of Rey’s desires.   


Finally making it to his room, which he was dying to call theirs, he could feel the way Rey’s head tilted, and the very second it did. He knew  she was planning something . She hadn’t moved enough to get down, or even motion that she’d like to, no. Instead, Clyde felt the warmth of her waiting tongue trace the shell of his ear, making him shudder so hard he dropped her. Rey landed unceremoniously on his unmade bed, propping herself up on her elbow, staring up at him.   


“Ya, Rey, ya have no idea what ya do to me, baby,” Clyde rasped.   


Rey’s smile only widened, “I’m pretty sure I do.”

He’d seen how her eyes traveled down his body, her cheeks blushing as they went.   


“Trust me, the feeling’s mutual,” she added.   


“Is it?” Clyde smirked, taking off the now cold, wet fabric from his torso. His pants were the next things to go, landing with a sloshy thump on his carpeted floor.   


“It is.” Rey followed, struggling out of hers. “Now, why don’t you be a gentleman and help your lady out of her wet clothes? Can’t be lettin’ me get too cold, right?”

Clyde mirrored her line of curses since their interrupted session that very afternoon, groaning as he went. He’d helped her  peel off her tops, one delicate mess at a time, and shimmied out of her shorts too. Wet denim at any length could be trouble, and it seemed to be just too much for her...

“Better?” he rasped.   


He knew his girl was beautiful, but seeing her nearly bare in his bed made him feel like he was floating. Clyde’s heavy foot falls could have woken Jimmy himself, but he paid no mind. Instead, Clyde could only focus on the love of his life calling him to her in the middle of  _ his _ bed.   


“Much,” she nodded, shifting to her knees. “Thank you, sweetheart,” she said, accepting every single one of his kisses.   


He’d found himself peppering kisses down her jaw, to the nape of her neck, continuing to explore her. Every whisper, every sigh, her moans and surprise encouraged him on until the two of them were bare to each other.   


“We don’t have to,” he promised, pressing kiss after kiss at the small curve of her shoulder.   


“But I want to,” she sighed.   


The feel of her cheek snuggling on his forearm while they rocked against each other on their side was heavenly. She’d kissed him there, at the amputated site just moments before, and he nearly whited out. No one besides him and the doctor that stitched him up had ever touched it—him... and there she was, adding her love, or at least he dreamed it was that, to his soul.   


The thought of him telling Jimmy she wasn’t fast came to mind as he slid himself between her folds. He knew she had to go, but this, this felt right, like it was more than just a lay with some pretty girl. Rey is his, he warned himself. It felt stupid to do, but each stroke spurred her on, which in turn ignited himself.   


“I’m —oh...Clyde, again... more,” she moaned. “I’m on the pill, and honest to God I’m clean, please,” she begged, him. “Please, I need you…  _ all of you _ .   


She could never know what those words truly meant, not to him, but it spurred him on, plunging deep inside her core. His good arm wrapped around her waist tightly to keep her in place while he adjusted to her hot, wet center. His forehead dropped to the nape of her neck, begging her to tell him to start moving.

And, oh, what a delicious sensation it is to feel her press herself further onto him. Her body silently begged for more, her jaw hung open at the fullness he’d provided making him—this act of love - feel like exactly that. He loved her. The very fact of the matter stunned him. Clyde Logan had never been lucky, and every moment with his girl made him believe he could very well be.

He’d only come to at the feeling of Rey working herself on him, up and down, until he truly believed he could be blind. Her breath caught a few times, letting out strangled moans, calling to him to pick a pace, preferably one that had been faster and stronger than hers.   


Clyde found himself promising his love to her, matching her thrust for thrust, harder and faster, chasing all of her sounds until she clamped down on him. His girl swore as she found her release, one that had him coming apart right after. He’d shared his own colorful swears as she did, no longer able to control the volume of his voice.   


The sound of Jimmy’s voice cut in from the other side of the wall. “What the fuck, Clyde—It’s fuckin’ four in the mornin’!” Jimmy rambled on, kicking the wall as he went.

Clyde grinned while he watched his girl hide under the curled up blankets tossed off to the side of them. Tomorrow would be weird, dealing with him in person, but now everything was fine. They could hide there together under his blanket for the rest of the night. 

  
  


——-

  
  


_ The next morning Clyde woke with a start.   
_

_ The day had come... _

_ ...but she... _

_ Rey hadn’t run off like he thought she might. His girl was still there, nestled safely in the crook of his arm. _

_ He’d sighed, nearly sobbed in relief. _

_ “Mornin’,” Rey moaned, snuggling back in. The feel of her  _ _ without  _ _ the barrier of his clothes had been divine.   
_

_ Clyde drew featherlight circles on her back, asking her the only question that threatened their bliss, despite how he felt about it.   
_

_ “Any plans today, love?” his voice shook at its release. _

_ “You’re silly,” she chuckled. “It’s a big day,” she said, lifting her body from his. “Are you sure you want to drive me?” she asked him. “It’s a little ways. I can always just—“ _

_ “No, no— sweetheart, let me take you.” _   


Morning had burned away in no time, and Clyde frowned. It had been of the hardest things for him to do to pack the car. She had even brought along her bag, the only one she had… the one with her clothes in it. Was he really dropping her off? Would this really be their end?

Clyde hadn’t never been the praying type - but last night he tried that - and more, to keep her. And yet… here they are, parked in front of an unassuming brick building with the letters WPAQ lit up in a large neon sign above its door. He noticed the size of the radio antennas climbing high into the sky at the top of the building, wondering why it was necessary for a recording studio to have such a broadcasting reach. All he knew was this place… could take his girl, which ate at him terribly.

Rey moved excitedly in her seat, looking to unbuckle herself before looking up at Clyde.

“What’s the matter, sweetheart?” He flinched at the way she said that, and her nearing hand. She’d look to soothe him, and he was sure he didn’t want that. He didn’t want his feelings to be shushed. Wasn’t she aware? Didn’t she know? Hadn’t he been clear?

Instead of answering her, he remained quiet while he tried to figure out what to say, only coming back to the fact that this place was a threat… one he was sure he couldn’t beat.   


A defeated huff lurched out of his lungs, asking, “Is this life all you’re after?”

“Is what all I’m after?” Rey questioned him. “Clyde?”

“Is this it, all you want in your life?” he asked again, trying his hardest not to show his pain.   


“No? There’s so much—"

“Then why do ya need it? Why can’t I be all ya need?” His lip started to quiver now against his will.

Rey leaned forward over the console, her  seat belt s quealing as it raced back into place, and she replied, “But you are, Clyde.”

“Then why are we here? Why can’t we be home? Why can’t it be enough?”

“Clyde, please,” her voice is equal parts soft and strong while she pleads with him to come with her. “It’s not what you think... please. I need you to just trust me.”

Her eyes are misty when he finally looks up at her, “Please,” she repeats herself.

Reluctantly he nods and goes in with her.

While the outside of the building had looked like a worn-down box, the inside was the complete opposite. A long hallway, with an equally long window looking in, passed two recording studios then turned to the right where they found one in use and a few offices. Just outside the door was a row of wooden chairs she assumed is for check-ins, but decided to knock on the door anyway.

This place is just as unnerving as the outside of the building, but Rey’s hand reaches for his. There’s comfort mixed with fear laced there now…

Clyde can feel it, wondering if Rey had been too preoccupied with her dream to notice. The moment the office door opened to her, a large man with black, thick rimmed glasses, dressed in a pinstriped suit stared her down. Not a word had been added to their conversation, not until Rey spoke, that is. Clyde watched her introduce herself, reaching out her hand to shake one of his, and it was all it took to be rejected.

“But, but I have an appointment,” she stammered out. “I’m here for the ten o’clock slot…” she added.   


“You’re Rey?”

“Yes, yes that’s me. I’m Rey, singer songwriter. I did a lot for…”

“We don’t have anyone to help you, Miss,” the man outright pointed to her shoulder, causing Rey to choke on her words.

“I didn’t request help… this-this was for a signing. I was supposed to be he-re f-for…”

The man had raised his hand to wave her off.   


“No, but…I’ve come all this way… I’ve done—I’ve written so mu—”

“It doesn’t matter. Someone in your …predicament, won’t be taken seriously here. We can’t baby you, and you certainly can’t look after your own words, how could you possibly write anything worth broadcasting?” he said, turning his back on her to  re-enter  his office.

Rey’s body shook, trying to fight through her fury. His girl’s heavy breathing woke him from his own panic attack. The moment her cheeks burned red he knew she was about to break. Her eyes welled up, no longer capable of keeping herself together—Clyde knew this place all to well. He knew how hard it had been for him to get through it, and as strong as Rey was, watching her break made him nearly lose control.

“Shh,’ Clyde collected her in his arms, hushing her before she dropped to the floor. This hurt her, his girl didn’t deserver that. Not Rey…”I have, I have an idea…” he mouthed to her, nodding behind them. “We’ll get you that time. Even if they aren’t there to hear it, doesn’t mean the world’s not ready for you, baby.”

Clyde picked up her bag and keyboard, throwing the straps over his shoulder, and taking Rey’s hand in his, he hurried down the hallway with her. Luckily there’s an open studio, closest to the door they  entered . At least now he knew that they’d be able to lock the door, and maybe barricade it if the situation arose.

This particular room had a desk before them, seated on the opposite side of yet another glass window. That room, unlike this one with a sea of switches and buttons, had nothing but padding on the walls, as well as one of the largest microphones he’d ever seen.   


Watching Rey move in this space was oddly calming. She knew what all of this meant - which had him in awe of her yet again.

She, however, turned to him in panic. Her eyes were wide, obviously scared of the possible consequences for going behind their backs.

“They won’t get in darlin’, I promise,” he swallowed, bracing himself in front of the door. “Best be startin’ before they realize we haven’t gone yet,” he added.

Rey nodded, doing exactly as he says, working the room with expert precision. She recorded her music in melodies she’d layered for him at the bar, but here, here it sounded far different. It had been impressive there… but this place made it possible for him to understand why she wrote the song as she did.

The two of them aren’t found until Rey’s put together the entire song, her beautiful voice had been the very thing that called them over to see who’d done it, Clyde thought. They’d find out just how perfect she was, he promised her, bracing the door that much harder.

Shouting picked up behind him, calling them horrible names - referring to their handicaps - which enraged Clyde completely. They couldn’t move him now. They had awakened something in him that they couldn’t undo. People continue to pound on the door, startling Rey from her recording, but Clyde stands there, strong and true, keeping his word.

Rey gets through not one, but nearly two songs before they finally get through. The second only needed one more verse, one last layer to complete it the way Rey intended it. As much as Clyde had heard, he hadn’t been ready to hear the whole thing… but she was out of time.

She quickly turned on the outer speaker, which picked up all of her work up until this point. It had been angelic, an out of body experience when she sang over it. She’d been able to make one person sound like a choir, and despite what the head of the studio had to say to her before, he found himself eating his words when he finally pushed his way in.

One last thought on her behalf had been to flip on the broadcasting signal right as she started her final layer of lyrics. The signal had been strong enough to take over surrounding stations, recording Rey’s message to the weak…

__“Turn your face towards the sun  
Let the shadows fall behind you  
Don't look back, just carry on  
And the shadows will never find you”

A chill ran up Clyde’s spine listening to each powerful word, unable to imagine it being about anyone beside him… them… His girl wrote  _ them _ a song. Clyde couldn’t contain the emotion coursing through his body. She…

“ __ Lost my faith and trust  
You and I know gold don't turn to rust  
I still swear that we can reign  
Like the kings and queens of better yesterdays  
Don't you know I've been burned  
I've been burned I've been burned  
You've seen me lose control  
It's not worth it's not worth it's not worth  
My soul ”

Every beat, every note, every word was his. Was this why she wanted to come here so bad? His thoughts were enough of a distraction, which got him to let up from the door.

Shit!

Clyde turned to block who’d ever come in for her. Fortunately, there had only been a few.   


The owner, and several staff members wrestle away from his impressive wingspan, but one managed to get by him. He forced his way through to the door between the control room and Rey, who is continuing through her final chorus.

Shouting overtook her space, silencing Rey. Her fear is evident while the man carried on.

“Let—ow! Let go!” Rey yelled over her cycling, prerecorded music.

“Stop moving!” the same thoughtless man yelled, trying to grab the other cuff of her sweater, unaware of her situation.   


Clyde roared with a fury he couldn’t possibly name. His body lurched forward, feeling far faster than the slow motion he’d been caught in. He said he had her, and now felt less awful that it had come to this. That she had been restrained for his decision.   


“Rey, baby,” he called for her, pulling on his arms and throwing who ever tried to hold him in place to the side. It all seemd to happen in slow motion, her struggle, his long strides through the room to get to the door, reaching his girl, supporting her with his bad arm and removing the man’s hand from her.   


“I’ve got ya,” he promised her. His voice seemed deeper, even to him, but she’s safe now. The way she fell into him made his body hum louder than her background music. He’s alive... more so than he’s ever been, and it’s because he’s in love.

It’s all he can do to push this further. He noticed the red lite sign above her door, signaling the very fact that they were still on air, and brought up what happened. Clyde argued with the staff, alerting those listening to the radio about the way the music industry has been treating people with disabilities.   


“This artist, my girl, only has one arm. She has all her life. She...y’all should see how she brought this music to ya. Rey, baby, you’re so talented and bright, and what they said to ya, I hope they know how wrong they were to treat ya like that.”

Clyde held Rey just as tightly as she held him. The two are simply overcome with emotion, but he kept speaking.   


It’s honestly now or never.

“We always get looked at like this, like we’re half a person. Like we ain’t got the same rights other citizens have. Darlin’, I was in the army, and lost my hand servin’ this great country, just to come back to it and feel rejected. But ya, Rey, ya never looked at me like that. I knew ya was special the day I met ya...”

An argument about the On Air sign being on had the small crowd inside the studio panicking.   


“You’re missin’ out on my girl’s talents, devastatin’ her dreams like they’re nothin’ because she don’t look like ya...” Clyde roared, trying to push the last man out the door with Rey still in his arm.

She’s in tears she can’t control. They roll down her cheeks steadily, promising that she knows it’s only been a few days, but that she loves him.   


“I wrote this song the night I met you,” she sniffled. “Every second we spent together made it feel right. Please tell me this isn’t wrong...please tell me it’s real. That you love me too.”

Clyde’s grip around her tightened, holding her as if she could be a dream that could slip from his grasp. His eyes were wide and tearing, his lips parted, hoping to speak but without the ability to.   


She loves him.   


His eyes can’t leave hers - not now.   


He nodded his response before saying it out loud. “I do. I do... I” Clyde choked on his words, silencing them by pressing his lips to hers. “I love you,” he whisper sobbed against them.   


_ How could he be so lucky? _ He wondered.

_ His girl _ , he repeated to himself,  _ she loves him _ ...

  
  


——-

  
  


Leaving the studio was far different than when they’d gotten there. A few producers and studio heads had found where the signal was cast and had shown up. They’d treated her with the same surprise, not sure how she could produce a complete song such as what she did live. When she explained, several people left, all the while two remained. One had a deal where she could travel, and the other had been a local producer from a station that couldn’t make that type of offer.   


When Rey found her words again, she spoke to them.

“I appreciate your offers, I do. But I’ve chased this dream my whole life,” she said. Her grip tightened in between Clyde’s laced fingers, “But I’m done traveling... I,” Rey paused, looking up at her guy, “I know I’ll never find anything or anyone who could replace my happiness here, with you...”   


Clyde’s smile drove her on to say she may be interested in playing locally, but she has no desire to leave.

Their ride home had been surreal. Clyde wanted to hold her the whole way, but they worked with what they had. Her hand covered his thigh, her head at his shoulder, snuggling against it the best she could.   


_ This... this is love... _ he told himself the whole way home.

Stepping foot on his property again made Clyde feel like a new man. His girl promised she’d be with him the whole way home, for as long as he wanted her. He smiled despite the weight of her words.   


“You’ll never have to leave, not unless ya want to... I’ll always want ya. You’re more, so much more, Rey,” he whispered, reaching for her to help his love out of the car.   


“And so are you, Clyde. I love you.”

“I love ya too, sweetheart.”

Jimmy welcomed them back, apologizing for his behavior.   


“Ya gotta understand, a pretty girl comes into town and, well ya know...I was just trying to protect my brother is all,” he said.   


The couple nodded, accepting his apology. Jimmy continued, telling them that he heard the whole thing, “I’m sorry it happened, but ya reached so many people. I wouldn’t be surprised if the two of you started a movement.”

The three of them smiled at the thought, looking to the sky and believing in the possibility.


End file.
